IT TOOK ME BACK TO THE FUTURE-WHO'S ON FIRST

                       

                                  


A victim of circumstance is an individual who suffers ill consequences because of factors that were out of their control. 

Someone can be said to be such a victim if, during the course of everyday life, we encounter a situation without seeking it out that causes us harm. 

The phrase is often used to describe someone who shares no blame for the situation and that their current plight was caused by the laws of nature or the actions, intentional or unintentional, of other people or "it".

Technology is the "it" that can often be an evil curse which holds us all as prisoners, making us victims over and over.

Inaccurate medical test results, computers that don't work, cell phones that disconnect us in the middle of critically important calls, batteries that are more dead than alive, the list is endless of the technology that is out of control, yet at the same time, ironically, very much in control of our lives.

It's not because computers are smart but actually computer technology can at times be extremely stupid, intransigent, wrong and definitely lazy.

What once could be corrected in 2 seconds by a simple eraser can take hours, weeks, months, years, or never, to get corrected.

So today I received a credit card in the postal mail that needed to be validated over the telephone before being used.

I called the credit card telephone number for validation.

After 10 minutes of negotiating the endless automated robot voice prompts, "it" asked for the last 4 digits of my credit card.

I entered the last 4 digits as asked.

Next "it" asked for the last 4 digits of my social security number.

I entered the last 4 digits as asked.

Next "it" asked for my zip code.

I entered my zip code as asked.

Finally it asked for my birth date explaining to me to use the digits for the month, not the name.

I entered my birth date as asked.

"It" said that was not my correct birth date and to re-enter my birth date again.

I entered my birth date several more times and each time "it" said that was not my correct birth date.

"It" said, please wait for a customer service representative to help me.

After 5 minutes of waiting a human being came on the phone and:

The human being asked me for the last 4 digits of my credit card.

I gave her the last 4 digits as asked.

Next she asked for the last 4 digits of my social security number.

I gave her the last 4 digits as asked.

Next she asked for my zip code.

I gave her my zip code as asked.

Finally she asked me for my birth date

I gave her my birth date.

She told me the birth date that I gave her was incorrect according to "it".

I laughingly told her this has always been my birth date.

She did not laugh and asked me for my birth date again.

I gave her my birth date, this time assuring her that I knew my correct birth date and it has never changed, how could it be changed I said.

She asked me if I was "using my father's credit card".

I said no, I am 60+ years old and why would I be using my father's credit card?

She said in a matter of fact tone, "it" says you were born in 1906.

After using my fingers and toes to do the required math, I said, well I am not 109 years old.

She said but "it" says you were born in 1906.

I said, "it" must be incorrect.

She said, let me see if I can get "it" to allow me to enter to change it.

She said what is your ID number?

I said what ID number.

She said the Banks ID number "it' has assigned me.

I said I don't know my special ID number because the Bank never informed me that I had a special ID number.

She then asked me if I had my special telephone Pin number assigned by "it".

I said I don't know my special telephone PIN number because the Bank never informed me that I had such a PIN number.

I said would you like my regular PIN number.

She said, "it" doesn't allow entry using the regular PIN number.

I said, this is crazy, I have been your customer for over 30 years and you can't simply activate my credit card?

She said, "it" won't allow an activation without the information "it" has, corresponding to what I give.

I said, since I am 106 years old according to "it", can't you make an exception for me before I drop dead from this aggravation.

She said, I'll try to see if anything else will work.

She said, what is your address.

I gave her my address that I have lived at for over 40 years.

She said, "it" has a different address for me and won't let her enter.

I said, how about telephone numbers, will "it" take phone numbers?

She said that she didn't know if it would, but what is my phone number.

I said do you want my cell phone or land line number.

She said, let's start with your land line number.

I gave her my land line number.

She said, "it" doesn't let me enter with that phone number.

I said, here is my old land line number that I disconnected 10 years ago.

She said, "we did it", Mr. Wolkoff, "it let" me enter using that old phone number.

I asked her to correct all the information now that she had entered "it".

Five more minutes and the corrections were hopefully made.

I asked her if we were done now as I was exhausted being that I had just come back from the future.

She said, Is there anything else I can help you with today (Click Here).

I said that she had done enough helping for the day.

She said, hold on and don't forget to do the customer service survey next.

The customer service survey robot voice came on and I was going to tell "it" to shove itself up into a place where the sun doesn't shine. 

"It" asked me for my date of birth to begin the survey.

I gave "it" my date of birth.

"It" said that was not my correct birth date and to re-enter my date again.

Made me feel like the old but new version of Abbot and Costello doing their Who's On First comedy routine.

I hung up on "it".