Sunday, June 26, 2011

Switching Gears #1

To the real world of others- Some very weird, can't be made up, difficult to believe, but true (I verified their veracity) news events of morons who clearly have the damaged genes of Inbreeding. Human Stupidity knows No limits.
Good Thinking-Logical right?

Man shot off own finger to get rid of wart

Published: June 17, 2011 at 11:34 AM

DONCASTER, England, June 17 (UPI) -- A British man who attempted to use a shotgun to blast off a wart wound up losing most of his finger and was ordered to complete 100 hours of community service.

Sean Murphy, 38, who was charged after the March incident with illegal possession of a firearm, was also given a suspended 16-week jail sentence and ordered to pay $160 in court costs after pleading guilty in Doncaster Magistrates' Court, The Star reported Friday.

Murphy said he was glad to avoid jail and did not mind losing his middle finger if it meant the wart, which he suffered with for five years, would not be returning.
"The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble," he said. "I didn't expect to lose my finger as well when I shot it but the gun recoiled and that was it. The wart was gone and so was most of my finger. There was nothing left so no chance to re-attach it."

Murphy told police he found the gun in a hedge three months before the incident. Authorities said he did not have a license to possess firearms.
Florida-What can I say about this State that hasn't already been said by me of the geniuses who reside there. I suppose A lot more:

Man sets home on fire while cleaning infected foot

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. -- Officials say a Florida Panhandle man set fire to his home while trying to clean an infection on his foot.

The Fort Walton Beach Fire Department reports that the man told deputies he was sitting on his bed, using rubbing alcohol to clean his foot Wednesday morning.
His lit cigarette came into contact with the flammable liquid and set his sheets on fire. He removed the bedding and ran to get a fire extinguisher, but the flames grew out of control while he was gone.

The man and several other people in the home were able to get out and call 911. Investigators have accepted the man's story and ruled the fire accidental.
Officials didn't have any damage estimates, but the home was not livable.
I always wanted to do this. He had the pennies and the balls to do it, what a guy!

Man cited after paying bill with 2,500 pennies

VERNAL, Utah - A Utah man has been cited on a charge of disorderly conduct after paying for a disputed medical bill with 2,500 pennies.
The Deseret News of Salt Lake City reports Jason West went to Basin Clinic in Vernal on May 27 prepared to dispute an outstanding $25 bill.

Assistant Vernal Police Chief Keith Campbell says that after asking staff members whether they accepted cash, West dumped 2,500 pennies on the counter and demanded that staff count them.
Campbell says the incident upset staff because pennies were strewn about the counter and floor, and West's action served "no legitimate purpose."

Police later issued the 38-year-old West a citation for disorderly conduct. That carries a fine of as much as $140. Or 14,000 pennies.
Guess he has a death wish- Guaranteed 1 way trip to a Mexican beheading, his bosses will not be pleased.

Man abandons nearly $1 million at hotel

HOUSTON -- Law officers in Houston have confiscated nearly $1 million in two bags that a man abandoned after denying that he knew anything about the cash.

The Houston Chronicle reported Friday that the money-filled rolling suitcase and gym bag were seized from a man from Mexico staying at an upscale hotel.
Federal agents received a tip about possible drug money laundering and monitored the man's comings and goings, then confronted him May 26 as he prepared to check out. 

Investigators say the man, who had a valid U.S. visa, said he was given the bags for delivery in Houston. No further details were provided.
The man was not arrested and left the hotel, abandoning more than $995,000.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement says the forfeited cash will be used to fight crime.
HMMMMM! Sneakers we used to throw on power lines  when I grew up in Brooklyn, but a deer, that's impressive.

Deer with wings' causes power outage

Jun. 16, 2011 04:41 PM

HELENA, Mont. - A Montana resident says an energy company has identified the cause of a brief power outage as "deer with wings."

Lee Bridges says she was outside with her dogs around the time the power went out when a NorthWestern Energy truck pulled up, giving her a chance to ask the driver what caused the problem.

She says he pointed up and said, "Apparently, we've got deer with wings."
Bridges looked up and saw a dead fawn on a power line.
It's unlikely the animal had an accident while trying to make like distant-cousin Rudolph. Bridges suspects that an eagle dropped its prey and couldn't retrieve it.

The lineman who removed the carcass from the power line said he'd never seen anything like it.

A worker uses a pole to remove a young deer carcass that was dropped onto a power line in East Missoula, Mont. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Definitely An Ass Hole

Cops: Man gets fish hook stuck in buttocks, fires shots

FREDERICK, Md. -- A man told an officer he fired gunshots after getting a fish hook embedded in his buttocks, say Frederick County, Md., police.

When a Frederick officer who was responding to a noise complaint knocked on Charles Akin Rempe's door, Rempe walked towards him "in a suspicious manner with his hand by his side," according to police.
He opened the door and told the officer he had been hiding in the closet for hours and had a fish hook imbedded in his buttocks.
According to police, Rempe said he was glad the officer arrived because he had fired several gunshots inside the apartment to attract the police.
The officer was concerned for his own safety, according to authorities, and placed Rempe in handcuffs until other authorities arrived.

Authorities say they found evidence of multiple gunshots fired inside the apartment and one round had gone through a side window, lodging in the brick wall of an adjacent building. No one was injured by the gunfire.
They say a loaded .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol was found inside the apartment.

Rempe was taken to the hospital for an emergency evaluation. Criminal charges are pending.
I just can't Resist Florida Again-Bored about Abortion.

Florida politician caught looking at porn on Senate floor

A Florida politician was left red-faced when he was caught looking at a photo of topless women in G-strings on his laptop while sitting on the Senate floor.

In his defense, Mike Bennett, a state senator in Florida, said that he was "bored" during a debate on abortion in the state legislature in Tallahassee.
Video footage shows the Republican senator tilting forward the screen of his laptop - on which the offending photo is displayed - before closing the image and then tilting the screen back.

As he looks at the picture on his government-issued computer, another state senator is heard denouncing the law under question as "disrespectful to women".

But the Florida senator had a ready defense.
"I was just sitting there, bored as they were debating the abortion bill," Mr Bennett told the Sunshine State News. He added that the email was from an old friend "who happens to be a former court administrator". (Good GOP logical excuse, excellent- free pass for him)

Erectile dysfunction, Hard pronunciation Hits Washington Politics, Firmly. I do hate ALL Politicians (Knock Wood) so this is NOT because I am just giving them a hard time to pick on them. My 3 current favorite hypocrites for today are John Andrew Boehner is a tanorexia sufferer, House of Representative Republican Majority Leader, and a dick. 

Undoubtedly eliciting countless giggles in high school Civics classrooms nationwide, the Congressman's surname is correctly pronounced "BAY-ner." Though—fittingly—its phonetic pronunciation is the term for an erection of the male reproductive organ.

Any Way- Congressman Anthony Weiner was talking to Speaker of the House John Boehner between sessions a few months ago.  

John (Woody to his friends) Boehner was complaining about the lack of respect he got from the media and some members of Congress. 

“It’s because of your name,” Weiner suggested.  “You pronounce it Bay-ner when everybody knows it should be Boner.  If you just pronounced it Boner, people would have more respect for you.  Look at me.  I could have pronounced my name Viner or Veener or Waynor, but I’m upfront with it, and people respect me.  Embrace your Bo-ner, just like I embrace my Wee-ner.” 

“Yes, embwace your Bo-ner,” said Barney Frank who just happened to be passing by.  “People widicule me about my name, but I don’t wespond.  I wespect my name.  When Pwesident  Obama starts his wemarks with, ‘Let me be fwank,’ I’m pwoud.”