Thursday, July 8, 2010

Returning From San Francisco-My Thoughts/Feelings

Almost every time I return from San Francisco regarding our legal case for the wrongful death of Steven, I am stunned, numb, angry, hurt, and painfully aware of the way I feel. We are victimized once again, traumatized once again, disrespected once again, emotionally tortured once again, often despicably treated by the defendants Attorney's.

Our Family (and other families of victims) who have to deal with the legal system, or criminal justice, and its dismal effects on us, who are just still trying to survive the loss of an innocent loved one, we are never considered. We the victims, are members of an exclusive "Club" that no one ever wants to be a member of, nor do others have any clue to what it really means to live forever with these endless scars, our horrific loss has wrecked our families and our lives forever.

Certain lawyers for the defendants are "just doing their jobs", as someone explained to me. No, I disagree, that is not true, it is their choice to pick this sub speciality as a career, their choice of how to conduct their professional behavior, their choice to understand or not how they or their loved ones, or even themselves could become a victim in a nano second, ultimately their choice to be human or not. They are highly rewarded financially for making money off of other human beings grief and it makes one wonder how they can sleep at night. I believe the answer to that speaks for itself.

In fact the death of Steven seems at times like a big joke to certain others, who go about 'their jobs' as if nothing horrific has happened, as they banter among themselves, dissecting words, actions, inactions, legal statutes, with pasted smug smiles often on their faces, never talking directly about Steven.

As we move through the legal phases hoping people take responsibility, I discover, not surprisingly, but still absolutely shocking to me, that many people do not tell the truth under oath in order to protect themselves, often coincidentally having sudden huge lapses in their memory of what they cannot recall, and that Steven again is almost never mentioned. It is all about the defendants, their rights, not Steven's rights, just legal mumbo jumbo words, twisting and manipulating the holes in the law by using "magic" legal terms to evade the truth. Actors and Actresses
in a theatre of the absurd, a circus of clowns.

What I find is that I am treated like a criminal and that at no point is the legal system designed or even remotely concerned to be helpful or compassionate to us, the victims. Lawyers have gone as far as unbelievably trashing Steven, calling him unthinkable names, blaming his death somehow on him, looked into the most intimate, personal, irrelevant details of his/our lives, as if we were on trial, using provocation and baiting to try to get me to yell at them or attack them, as if in someway that would make me guilty of something.

"They" know the truth of Steven's unnecessary horrific suffering, yet hollow, hypocritical words of sympathy sometimes are offered to us, as if that makes everything OK, but actions speak the truth, that in the system of Law, human life is cheap and dispensable as a crushed paper cup.

Justice and accountability will be obtained in some ways for Steven by us, in the best honorable, truthful manner we know how, using the most professional caring Attorneys we have representing him. But justice and accountability is defined very differently by the legal system which dilutes, impersonalizes, and dishonors victims. Justice and accountability for killing a human being is elusive, in a legal system that mocks the innocent victims and degrades the amazing human life of Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, lost to him, and to us, forever. Jerry

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