Tuesday, June 30, 2015



I thought of you with love today
but that is nothing new

I thought about you yesterday
and days before that too,
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name

All I have are memories
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake
with which I’ll never part
I have you in my heart.

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part. God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=24438I thought of you with love today

Today is the day that my Mother, Dorothy Wolkoff died on June 30th,1997. It was sudden and there was never a chance to say goodbye.

 My mom was the strongest, toughest, most courageous, gentle, caring person I have ever known. 
Biology aside, mom's can be magical human beings. A mother's love is unlimited, it can heal us, make us feel safe, not to mention inspire us. My mother was all that and more. How lucky I am.

My mother was the only one who believed in me, particularly during my youth, and stubbornly never gave up, no matter how much I screwed up. 

She taught me much, but in particular, emphasized the importance of self pride, work/life ethics, compassion, caring, and being humble. 

In spite of her hard life, she provided for my sister and myself, by doing whatever was necessary for us to live, we never lacked for anything, because of her grueling unselfish efforts. My mother literally saved my life many times, she was one of a kind, I will always remember and love her for that. 

Without her support during my most difficult years as a youngster, a wild acting out teenager, she ALWAYS stood up to me, for me, guided me, and refused to give in, or give up on me. It was not easy for her to do that, but she would not back down, ever.

I told my mom in many different ways over the years how much this eventually contributed to my taking the correct productive path with my life, instead of continuing in the wrong direction, ALL because of her. 

I spent much of my adult life making my mother proud of me, telling her how much I loved her. 

Whatever is good in me, came from my mother. 

I miss you mom.

Saturday, June 27, 2015


Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the U.S. Constitution provides same sex couples the right to marry, handing a historic triumph to the American gay rights movement.

The court ruled 5-4 that the Constitution's guarantees of due process and equal protection under the law mean that states cannot ban same sex marriages. 
With the landmark ruling, gay marriage becomes legal in all 50 states.
There are many articles, commentary being written about this ruling that all Americans are guaranteed equality by the Constitution of the United States.

There are also many haters, hypocrites, self-righteous "losers" who have opened their mouths in not being able to understand the true meaning of Democracy, that whether you agree or disagree with something, when the majority rules in elections, Supreme Court decisions, whatever, you need to shut up and accept the decision gracefully.

Lately I have been informally choosing the "Terminal Stupid Award of the Day" to various deserving people who push the definition of human intelligence to the outer depths of extreme ignorance when it comes to talking about victims.

Someone has to recognize these morons, there are so many of them, and I will try to be more formal in the future, blogging about those who really are deserving of receiving this award.

Today's terminally stupid award goes to: 

Justice Clarence Thomas in his personal dissenting statement to the Supreme Courts Ruling on Gay Rights.

You remember Clarence Thomas, he is the second African American to have been appointed to the Supreme Court (after the legendary Thurgood Marshall).

Thomas has endured negative publicity beginning with his contentious confirmation hearings.
On the bench, Thomas is sometimes referred to as "Silent Clarence" for almost never speaking, or asking a question during oral arguments before the Supreme Court.
                                                  Clarence Thomas

Thomas is apparently very upset about the majority of his colleagues writing so much about "dignity" for gay couples in today's decision. 

Here's what he said today about human dignity:
Thomas, in his bizarre bubble world of terminal stupidity, has no clue to his own lack of dignity as a human being, let alone to comment about that of others.

Clarence is saying that dignity is like the soul. It can never be taken away, certainly not by the government, especially not by those evil kinds of governments that torture, murder, enslave, oppress, terrorize, intimidate, jail, and remove human rights, freedoms, from it's people.

According to his reasoning, your dignity hasn't been compromised by laws against gay marriage any more than the Nazis murdering 6 million Jews because they were Jewish, or slavery compromised the dignity of the Africans who were abducted, exploited, raped and murdered in its name.

Tell that to a holocaust victim of horrific Concentration Camps, slaves, women who have been raped, innocent murdered human beings, their families, all victims of injustice, and most having lost their dignity through no fault of their own.

What Mr. Thomas is incapable of understanding is this: good law creates its own dignity as well as dignity for its beneficiaries. 

Evil law, like that which forced men, women, and children to jump out of cattle cars, disrobe, and walk naked down a path to gas chambers while a orchestra played Mozart, creates no dignity, it steals human dignity and turns it to ash.

What a stupid, ignorant, insipid, disingenuous, self-serving little weasel, Thomas is overwhelmingly entitled to today's terminally stupid award winner. 

Stupid is defined in the dictionary as:
: not intelligent : having or showing a lack of ability to learn and understand things
: not sensible or logical
: not able to think normally because you are drunk, tired, etc.
a :  slow of mind :  obtuse
b :  given to unintelligent decisions or acts :  acting in an unintelligent or careless manner
c :  lacking intelligence or reason :  brutish
:  dulled in feeling or sensation :  torpid stupid
 from the sedative>
:  marked by or resulting from unreasoned thinking or acting :  senseless stupid
a :  lacking interest or point stupid
b :  vexatiousexasperating

"Silent Clarence" you meet all the standards of the word stupid.

 So, I think the reason you don't participate in courtroom questioning, is that your terminally stupid. Case Closed.

Sunday, June 21, 2015


                         SUNDAY, JUNE 21, 2015 


                      STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF

SEPTEMBER 23, 1977- JUNE 21, 2008




Today  June 21, 2015 is Father's day.

I am so grateful for all that I have from my two children as their father.

Today, also by the quirks of the calendar is the anniversary of the seventh year of an eternity in agony for all of us, marking the horrific day, June 21, 2008, that my oldest child, Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, was cruelly killed at the age of 30, his life brutally stolen from him, your family, friends, me. 

Steven died on the first day of Summer, same as today, it was 5 PM on a Saturday afternoon, exactly seven years ago.

It seems so much longer than seven years have gone by since we lost him. 

I still feel that it cannot be true, somehow suddenly he will appear, call me on the phone, or send me an email. That feeling never leaves, it is always there, I will wake up from this nightmare, and Steven will be here, alive.

Oh how he loved the summer months and life itself. He was looking forward to it all, never realizing that his life would end that day in 2008 due to the negligence of others. 

I posted the other pictures above of Steven because they are some of my favorite ones, and also he is so real, alive in them, and for a second, he seems to actually be here.

Today, on this seventh anniversary of Steven's tragic death, if you can, please take a moment now to remember who Steven was and how deeply he is missed by each of us.

The last time I spoke to Steven, was on the phone,Tuesday evening, June 17 , 2008.

I didn't know that moment was going to be our last.
The last time I would talk to you, and hear your beautiful voice.

The last time I would tell you that I loved you, and hear you say “I love you too dad”. Strong and so real, so vibrant and alive.

A smiling face, with twinkling eyes, your special smile, my fine young man, my oldest child.

The shattered remnant of my heart with holes so black and fathomless no light can ever fill. I am and will be in shock forever.

Time has passed before me, so bleak and dark and long, the wind that whispers through the trees, the brightest star at night, the rain on a dismal day, my endless dreams, nightmares, the constant thoughts, hearing the door bell ringing, seeing the 2 Nassau County Policeman at my door at 4 AM asking me politely if they could come inside, no eye contact from them, I knew and asked them "which one of my children", their response "do you have a son Steven living in San Francisco, he was killed in a car collision". 

That moment is frozen in my mind, repeating itself endlessly almost every waking and sleeping moment of my life.

The tragic death of Steven was caused by stupid, senseless acts. Every day, each night, my mind is focused on the highway at the collision, looking at Steven’s face while he is alive and then later, he is dead, covered by a tarp on the highway.

The collision seems less a random act, and more determined, by a series of factors, not so benign, each one a contributing cause of my son’s death.

Steven was killed not by accident, but by horribly connected actions, and inactions, of many others, each building on the impact of the other. Steven’s death began when distinct acts of design and error grew to become the chaos of negligence.

Steven was killed because of a poorly designed highway, outmoded, dangerously engineered for the volume of the Saturday traffic, moving slowly or quickly, to pass or turn.

Steven was killed by the lack of highway signage, a secret State cover up of a structurally flawed highway design known as a "death trap", whose design errors were deliberately never corrected violating the written safety codes of the  same government department responsible for building the highway, and the carelessness of a local community program, having a gathering, unaware that their visitors, were parking, turning, clogging this already too narrow stretch of road.

Steven was killed by a 21 year old drug impaired driver, who did not even have a driver’s license, an illegal alien. His danger to others not in his thoughts, but mostly I think he just didn't care about the effects of his irresponsible actions on Steven.

Steven was killed by an army of first responders, Paramedics, Emergency Medical Technicians, Police, Firefighters, and Park Rangers, etc., busy littering the highway with equipment, while they tried to look busy and important.

Steven courageously lived for about an hour after the collision while multiple systems of rescue professionals failed to get him to the hospital, and were unable to properly provide a minimum standard of the medical skills that they were trained to perform.

The first responders missed his airway, suffocating him, vital oxygen crushing against his heart, lungs and diaphragm, taking his breath away, and horrifically killing him.

The responder’s mission, to stabilize Steven for triage care at the Hospital, failed, lost in a few hundred square feet of disorder, with no one in charge, no one leading, standing, telling, helping, shouting, or recognizing the obvious signs of their medical errors.

My son Steven was killed by carelessness, thoughtlessness, and negligence on the part of multiple entities and individuals.

A gifted, talented, precious, irreplaceable, meaningful life was stolen from all of us who loved him deeply, because of the actions of so many who, each in their own way, miserably failed to anticipate and recognize that the consequences of their actions and inactions, all destroyed Steven’s life.

A Jury trial is scheduled for March 28, 2016 as we are still after all these years doing our very best to obtain justice and accountability for your having had your life stolen from you.

My first-born son, my Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, so cruelly taken from us at the age of 30 years old.

I cannot believe that my son Steven lies buried in a grave so young, me dreaming of things that he was and might have been. 
I never have said the traditional Mourners Kaddish prayer for Steven because it's words are completely meaningless to me. 

I have written my own Mourners Kaddish as a way to honor Steven, and I usually post it every year at this time, thereby testifying that Steven left behind a legacy of goodness, and worthy descendants, those who loved him, who will always remember that he lived.

These sentences speak directly to Steven, because his pain and loss need to be honestly described in real words that accurately reflect my true feelings.               


Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, Shmuel Nacham Ben Yaakov,  (Samuel Nathan, Son of Jerry).

September 23, 1977- June 21, 2008

I am sorry that you are dead.

I am sorry you suffered so painfully, on that awful day, as you fought to stay alive.

I am sorry for the agony you felt, I see it in your eyes, face, and body from the horrific evidence photos.  I see and feel it in my endless nightmares.

I am sorry for the fear, terror, unimaginable pain you felt in fighting for your life, as they killed you. I know the truth of your courage in being able to fight so bravely to stay alive.

I am sorry for you because you were not killed by accident, but instead by the senseless, stupid, careless, actions of so many others who could have saved your life, but instead, each in their own way, miserably failed you that day, never realizing or even considering taking responsibility, or accountability for the consequences of their actions, inaction's, indifference, and incompetence.

I am sorry you died not due to fate, nor randomly, but were instead killed by the cascading chaos of connected, dysfunctional, defective entities and others, all who caused your preventable death.

I am sorry that you died because the State of California did not care about your life and decided not to fix a dangerously unsafe road, instead they deliberately hid the structural defects in the highway that made it into a death trap.

I am sorry that you died because of the 21 year old drug impaired driver speeding out of control into your car. His danger to you not in his thoughts, but mostly I think he just didn't care about the effects of his irresponsible actions.

I am sorry about the inept, licensed, qualified, medical first responders who had no idea, not a clue, of what they were doing medically to you as they killed you. They have no consciences and lied to hide how they murdered you in cold blood.

I am sorry for you, that so many corrupt, ugly cowards of evil, who have evidence of the truth, but have no conscience to speak up, remain silent, lie, omit, refuse to come forward to admit their responsibility in covering up the true facts that all contributed to killing you. 

I am sorry for those whose toxic evil allowed all of the above to be done to you and escaped from being held accountable for participating in your death.

I am sorry that your soul and body were desecrated in death.   

I am sorry for the wicked hideous ones who desecrated your body in death and refuse to take accountability for their violation of your body, your soul.

I am sorry that it has took us five years to finally successfully legally force the spiteful, hateful San Mateo County Coroner to release your final remains for proper burial.

I am sorry that you died in spite of the true medical facts that show you should be alive today.

I am sorry for all the multitude of evil ones who have tried to defame you and erase that your name.

I am sorry that life is so cheap and yours has no value to those who killed you and try to erase you ever existed.

I am sorry that the Legal system is weak, corrupt and I have not been able to obtain real justice for you. I failed to accomplish getting Justice for you, please forgive me.

I am sorry for my failing as your father to keep you from dying.

I am sorry you did not leave the beach one second earlier or later to return home that day of June, 21, 2008.

I am sorry that I was not there to protect you.

I am sorry that I was not there that day to comfort you, hold you, ease your pain.

I am sorry that I don't know the last thoughts in your mind before you died.

I am sorry that you died alone, with strangers, and no one even had the courage, kindness to hold your hand.

I am sorry that you died lying on a hot highway pavement, in a place unfamiliar, in the middle of nowhere.

I am sorry that no one had the decency to cover your right arm and both feet, as you lay dead under the blue tarp.

I am sorry the Medvac trauma helicopter was delayed in arriving there by 4 minutes, too late to stop the killer first responders from touching you.

I am sorry that I was not even able to protect your dignity in death.

I am sorry you cannot cry.

I am sorry you cannot scream.

I am sorry you cannot laugh.

I am sorry you cannot smile.

I am sorry you cannot feel.

I am sorry you cannot talk.

I am sorry you cannot breathe.

I am sorry you are silent forever. 

I am sorry that the world said nothing, heard nothing, says nothing about the injustices done to you.

I am sorry that it was you and not me.

I am sorry that I had to bury you and that you didn't bury me first, as it should be.  

I am sorry for everything that I forgot to say now, or cannot, and did not say here.

I am sorry for YOU because you are not here, you are NO MORE on this earth. 

I am sorry that you cannot rest in peace.

More than anything, I am sorry that you didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

Your family will always honor you, remember you, miss you, keep you in our heart, preserve your memory in lovingly telling future generations about you, and love you forever. 

We all miss you so very much.

I mourn what was, what could of been, and what will never be.

You deserved so much better my son, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Your brother, sister, mother, family, and others who love you, will do the same. We will never forget YOU, never stop loving you, our precious beloved Steven. NEVER.

Steven, I can only say, I am SORRY, SORRY, I am so SORRY.

At some moments in time, I reach a point where there is nothing else to be said about the death of Steven. 

Today is again, one of those moments.  

My heart is broken, my Steven is gone, and we will mourn forever.

 Hebrew -Amen. Love, Dad.     

Tuesday, June 16, 2015


As a professional, I have seen so many incompetent, truly dangerous "experts" in many different disciplines, whose decisions and misdiagnosis contribute to further victimizing those who are the most vulnerable in our society.
I am not advocating that assessments by professionals be ignored but rather that people become more pro-active, involved with those who they seek help from for their children, loved, ones, or for themselves.
It is your responsibility to learn all that you can about the problems you seek help for and to not simply blindly follow the god like words of the "experts".
It behooves every individual to think for themselves in partnership with the professional, so as to satisfy your own understanding of what is happening.
Too many people are intimidated by professionals and allow themselves to be unquestioning, passive followers of whatever is told to them.
In yet another example of how an out-of-control system of "experts" can do devastating harm, this is about a teenage boy who was diagnosed with autism at a young age and has risen to stellar heights after escaping from the clutches of the special education system with the help of his concerned mother.
When Jacob Barnett was 2 years old, he was diagnosed with moderate to severe autism. Doctors told his parents that the boy would likely never talk or read and would probably be forever unable to independently manage basic daily activities like tying his shoe laces.

But they were sorely, extraordinarily mistaken.

So far nobody can define what autism really is. It’s also a one size fits all diagnosis while it’s pretty clear that one kid with autism can be completely different from another. 

Some genetic diseases (Rett syndrome for instance) lead to autism. The problem is when you are trying to find etiology of a disease that is not one disease, but a collection of different ones, it’s like trying to find a cure for fever.

The key, according to mom Kristine Barnett, was letting Jacob be himself  by helping him study the world with wide-eyed wonder instead of focusing on a list of things he couldn’t do.

Following this diagnosis of autism at age two, Jacob was subjected to the cookie cutter special education system that focused on correcting what he couldn’t do compared to normal children. 

For years, teachers attempted to convince Kristine Barnett that her son would only be able to learn the most basic of life skills.

When exposed to the special education system of therapy, Kristine noticed Jacob would withdraw deeply and refuse to speak with anyone. 
Even though she found it “terrifying to fly against the advice of the professionals,” she knew in her heart “that if Jake stayed in special education, he would slip away,” Kristine relates in her memoir, The Spark: A Mother’s Story of Nurturing Genius.
School therapy specialists claimed Jacob Barnett would never be able to read or function normally in society. 
But the boy’s mother realized when Jacob was not in therapy, he was doing “spectacular things” completely on his own.
She decided to trust her instinct and disregard the advice of the professionals. 
Instead of following a standardized special needs educational protocol, she surrounded Jacob with all the things that inspired passion for him and was astonished at the transformation that took place.
So began a journey for Jake (CLICK HERE) that would lead to such unexpected achievement that the whole premise of standardized therapy for this ‘special needs’ child would be blown to bits.
After years of frustration and little progress, Kristine made a radical decision in the eyes of the special    
education system, she took Jacob out of school and prepared him for kindergarten herself. 
She let him explore the things he wanted to explore. He studied patterns and shadows and stars. At the same time, she made sure that he enjoyed “normal” childhood pleasures – softball, picnics – along with other kids his age.
“I operate under a concept called ‘muchness’,” Kristine said “which is surrounding children with the things they love, be it music, or art, whatever they’re drawn to and love.”
Jacob also has an IQ of 170, higher than that of Einstein. 
He is history’s youngest astrophysics researcher, has spoken at a New York TED (Technology, Entertainment & Design) conference, and appeared on a variety of news interviews, including 60 Minutes and the Time magazine website.

His mother, not sure if her child was talking nonsense or genius, sent a video of his theory to the renowned Institute for Advanced Study near Princeton University.

Gifted: Aspergers syndrome and the conditions affecting child development

Autism: A condition that starts in early childhood, usually involving serious developmental disabilities with social interaction and communication.
People with this disorder can have a range of abilities, from being severely disabled to gifted. It is estimated one in every 150 child has the condition.

Aspergers: A syndrome that is similar to autism, but with the distinction that those with it typically function better, have normal intelligence and near-normal language development.

Savant: Rare condition in which persons with developmental disorders have astonishing islands of ability, brilliance or talent that stand in stark contrast to overall limitations.

According to the Indiana Star, Institute astrophysics professor Scott Tremaine himself a world renowned expert  confirmed the authenticity of Jake's theory.

In an email to the family, Tremaine wrote: 'I'm impressed by his interest in physics and the amount that he has learned so far.

'The theory that he's working on involves several of the toughest problems in astrophysics and theoretical physics.

'Anyone who solves these will be in line for a Nobel Prize.'

And it hasn't gone unnoticed by Jake, who added: 'Whenever I try talking about math with anyone in my family they just stare blankly.'

Jake was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism, from an early age.

His parents were worried when he didn't talk until the age of two, suspecting he was educationally abnormal.

It was only as he began to grow up that they realized just how special his gift was.

He would fill up note pads of paper with drawings of complex geometrical shapes and calculations, before picking up felt tip pens and writing equations on windows.

By the age of three he was solving 5,000-piece puzzles and he even studied a state road map, reciting every highway and license plate prefix from memory.

By the age of eight he had left high school and was attending Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis advanced astrophysics classes.

By the time Jacob reached the age of 11,he was studying condensed matter physics at Indiana University-Purdue University. 

Jake had embarked on his most ambitious project yet, his own "expanded version of Einstein's theory of relativity".
Not bad for someone who was classified by school special education experts as so severely disabled. 

If Jacob had stayed within the system, their prediction may very well have come true.

     Jake Barnett  At 12 years old Giving A Lecture on TED

                       Jake Barnett Now At 17 Years of Age         

Now aged 17, his love for physics has him currently researching Loop Quantum Gravity and Quantum Foundations at Perimeter Institute for Advanced Theoretical Physics in Waterloo, as a PhD student.

There are many hopeful story's of people such as Jacob Barnett, but there are also many, many more agonizing realities of others diagnosed with Autism whose lives   are limited by whatever it is that destroys their ability to function, whether it be clinically organic, misdiagnosis, treatment related, or a multitude of other causation's.

For them there is no magic cure, no genius who does amazing things with their brain, no way out of the deep darkness that consumes their lives.

Autism today is serially misunderstood and misdiagnosed. 

Misdiagnosis due to ignorance is so prevalent partly because we still don’t really understand autism. 

Autistic people do not seem to have problems perceiving and distinguishing certain types of action, as has been commonly believed, according to a study in the Journal of Neuroscience
Instead, differences seem to arise at the level of executive functions where they try to pay attention to the action and interpret it.
James Cusack, an autistic scientist from the University of Aberdeen, led the study, helping design new types of tests because he felt that the typical tests being used to assess perception differences in autistic people had too many possible unrelated variables.
"When we take account of these other factors properly, the results showed only a slight impairment and this was more of a generalized deficit which might instead be attributed to factors such as the ability to pay attention, rather than autism specifically," he stated in a press release on MedicalXpress. The new tests showed that people with autism are often interpreting some sensory inputs differently.
A co-author on the study suggested that the findings could lead to better approaches to helping people with autism. "Many people with autism are disabled by sensory symptoms," he said. "It is important to know that the brain's sensory systems are functioning well in autism. This suggests that we need to focus upon the way that the brain modulates the way that sensory input is experienced."
In the past two decades, autism has become a catch-all diagnosis for children whose behavior appears antisocial. 

A widely cited 2012 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that about one in 88 children in the United States has an autism spectrum disorder

The “spectrum” describes a wide range of conditions, from the milder Aspergers syndrome to the much more severe neurodevelopmental Rett syndrome. 

All are characterized by repetitive behaviors and some degree of impairment in social and communications skills.

While various theories exist, it seems to be genetic in some cases and may be related to synaptic dysfunction, we know little about what causes it and nothing about how to prevent it. 

We also don’t know why some children diagnosed with milder spectrum disorders seem to leave the spectrum entirely in later life, sometimes within only a few years, while others suffer forever in the darkness of their disease. 

Unfortunately, some cases of autism are serious, and the lack of scientific consensus has pushed many parents to desperate measures. 

An infamous (and now discredited) 2001 article linked autism to mercury in vaccines and prompted widespread fears about immunization. 

Old fears die hard. The Internet is awash with non-peer reviewed reports that autism is linked to all kinds of environmental causes. Con artists and unlicensed company's offer dangerous alternative treatments, none of them FDA approved. 

Some desperate parents have turned to chelation therapy, the chemical removal of heavy metals from the body, and hyperbaric oxygen chambers. These treatments recall the barbaric methods once used to treat mental illness, but they also drive home how helpless parents of many autistic children feel.

If left unaddressed, this epidemic of mistreatment and misdiagnosis will be as disastrous for our economy as for our children. 

Autism is expensive and research is grossly underfunded.

According to a study by Michael Ganz at the Harvard School of Public Health, each case of autism carries a social cost of $3.2 million over a lifetime. 

And care is not cheap, sometimes costing $50 thousand or more per year. 

We must recognize that we all know people on and off the spectrum who feel isolated and sometimes act in ways that appear awkward or even antisocial. 

Parents who have children diagnosed within the Autism spectrum need to spend as much loving time interacting with their child, opening up as many new opportunities to experience child hood fun, learning, and stimulation so they can be exposed to the world around them.

The child with the disorder affects the entire nuclear family and becomes a center of attention.

At the same time, parent(s) must perform a very difficult, delicate balancing act when it comes to family dynamics.

In many families that have a child diagnosed with any disorder, not just Autism, there is often a  natural tendency to not pay as much attention to the other "normal" siblings.

These "normal" siblings become "babysitters, cheer leaders", praising every positive thing done by the other child.

They mimic what the parent does, and in doing so, indirectly are seeking the desperate self attention, love they need for themselves.

It is critical that the parent (s) also provide the "normal sibling(s)" with the time for sole attention, experiences that enable them to feel love and secure in the dynamics of the family.

Too often these siblings grow up feeling unloved, insecure, overly anxious, with poor self self esteem. 

Sometimes they even learn to act out, creating problems, in order to get the attention of family as a way to feel loved.

So as difficult as it is for parents to cope with the many stresses of life, it is essential to focus on all your children, including them as individuals within the family.

There are many things parents can do to help children with autism overcome their challenges. 

But it's also important to make sure you get the support you need. 

When you're looking after a child with autism, taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness, it's a necessity. 

Being emotionally strong allows you to be the best parent you can be to your child in need. 

Regardless of everything said: patience, respect, and a little empathy, not pity, go a long way in helping everyone involved.