It begins with IRIS

 

It begins with IRIS, somehow fitting symbolically for her to represent the incredible inexplicable unfairness, incalculable suffering, and tragedy that has wrought its destruction through so many good, loved, close members of my family, who deserved very much better than they received in life and death. 

The dreaded time of the year when my overwhelming grief of those of my family who I painfully miss, mourn for, who have died, envelops my entire being, more so than at any other time of the year.

It starts as a not really necessary reminder, it always does at  each year at this time, on this specific calendar date and lasts forever. I need not be told that the time is here, since the pain is an always present bleeding part of my soul, all the time, all year round . 

More difficult than ever, filled with the aching of a lifetime beaten down into ever present, increasingly toxic, non stop personal demons, as another year passes. 

I planted these Iris flowers in the garden out front of my house when my sister Iris died. I liked the idea that they are perennials, each year flowering in all their beauty, now looking so alive on the yearly anniversary today of the day she died, after a courageous and anguished battle.
 
My sister Iris was full of life, insightful, sagely wise, and then she was gone, tragically, painfully, and irrevocably. She deserved so much better but it was not to be. Why her? Why??
 
Iris, my sister, a gift to me in life, was more beautiful in a million ways than these plants. I will miss you forever my dear sister Iris, but most of all I miss your caring love. I love you. Love, Jerry
                                     
                      REST IN PEACE IRIS