Offensive Words Spoken To Me, When There Is Nothing That Can Be Said About FEELING The Loss Of Steven.
"God Needed Him, He is with the Angels, He is at Peace, He is in a Better Place, He is in Heaven Playing Golf, Have A Good day, Have a Good Weekend, Happy Birthday, How Many Kids Do You Have, What is Steven Doing These Days, He is OK, God is Watching Over Him, Can I Speak to Steven Wolkoff, Adobe Flash Player, Double Click, Free Wheel, Rich Streaming Media, DUI, DWI, Accident, Illegal Alien, Defense Lawyers, Depositions, Desecration, Disrespect, Arrogance of The Law, Arrogance Of The Evil, The Law, Justice, The Justice System, California, San Francisco, Court CASE #....., Consolidated, Master, Secondary, Judges, Politicians, District Attorney's, Justice Will Prevail, We Care, They Will Eventually Be Punished, Victims Have Rights,The Media, Time Will Heal Your Grief, Time Will Ease your Pain, Relax, You Will Get Over It, Are you Still Upset, Give It Time, Did you Sleep Well, Smile, How Are You Doing/Feeling, What is Wrong, It's Been ... Years and You Still Feel So Bad, Everything is Great, You Look Terrible, You Look Great, You don't Look That Bad, What Are You Doing With Yourself, I Envy You, I Hate You, Make A Life For Yourself, Get Out More, Pull Up Your Boot Straps, This Was The Worst Thing I Ever Heard, No I Won't Help You, No I/We........ I Understand, I Feel Your Pain, I Can't Really Understand But I know What It is Like For You, Is That really your Father And You in the Book How terrible And That didn't really Happen You Have an Overactive Imagination, Stop Thinking So Much, Memories Of The Good Times Will Help You Get Through This, Steven would Not Want You To.........., Steven Would Want You TO.........., Steven Wanted............,Steven Would Not Want...........,Steven Would Feel That......, He Would Want....., Feel...., Not Want......, We Would Rather Remember Steven/Him In The Good Times Than Think Of What Happened To Him At the End because We Don't Want To Know What Really Happened To Steven It hurts too Much thinking About IT!. Our Thoughts And Prayers Are With You, Take His Pictures Off The Wall, Leave His Pictures On The Wall, Words Cannot Even Express Our Sorrow, You Have An Angel Watching Over You, May the Comfort/Love Of God Help You During These Difficult Times, There is A Reason For Everything, To Live In Hearts Left Behind Is Not To Die,God Broke Your Hearts To Prove To You He Only Takes The Best, He Felt No Pain, Body Bag, My Heart Hurts For You, Him, Your Family,I Can't Imagine How You Must Be Feeling, Steven is Watching Over All Of His Family, This Must Be So Hard For You, You doing OK?,This Too Shall Pass, God Has You in His Hands,You Will Eventually Get Over This, God Knows Best, At Least You Had 30 Wonderful Years Together, You Are A Strong Person Who Needs To Get On With His Life, Dirt Bag, Pain In The Ass, Monologues, Go Cry In Your Beer, Enough, You Are A Survivor, Things Will Be OK."
"We didn't start the fire,It was always burning,Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire, No we didn't light it, But we tried to fight it. When we are gone, Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on........"?
"Would you know my name,If I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same If I saw you in heaven? Would you hold my hand If I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand,If I saw you in heaven? Beyond the door,There's peace I'm sure,And I know there'll be no more Tears in heaven."
Strange Conundrum this words business.
Some of these words came from people who may have wanted to sincerely offer comfort but do know not what to say about death, especially the death of a young person, which leaves them with nothing to say, equals say some of the above or don't say anything, equals avoid saying anything about Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, Don't Even Say His Name, Avoid Steven's Family, because it is too hard, too scary, and ugly to touch reality and feel that this could be YOU!
Victims and Victims families are treated the same as dying terminally ill human beings, to be avoided, ignored, as if we are contagious with death, except for the rare human being, who by their actions, truly, unconditionally demonstrate their love of us. Actions Speak Louder than Words, Words mean Nothing by themselves.
JERRY WOLKOFF BLOG-IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SON STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF, MY FATHER SAMUEL WOLKOFF, AND ALL THE OTHER VICTIMS OF INJUSTICE, EVIL IN THIS WORLD.THEY DIMINISH YOUR RIGHTS,THEN THEY DIMINISH YOUR EXISTENCE, THEN THEY LIE ABOUT IT, SAY YOU NEVER EXISTED, AND THE PROBLEM IS PEOPLE FORGET THE SUFFERING THAT LASTS FOREVER, NEVER KNOWING THE TRUTH BY WHOSE HANDS, OR HOW YOU WERE KILLED.
Jerry....so much of what you write is true.
ReplyDeleteWhen people don't know what to say, they stumble. Sometimes what they say makes sense to them at the time. But they don't know how lame it sounds to those of us who have lost a child.
I learned a long time ago to be more accepting of them, simply because they don't know what else to say. At least they didn't run away like many do....
Fran
Fran-Yes some say the words because they don't know what to say, many say the words to just make themselves feel better, or because they feel obligated to say something.Ultimately the words mean nothing. it is the actions of the person that matter. The rare people who demonstrate to us their caring, who don't run away, are the ones that truly show us love, and honor the loss of our children.-Jerry
ReplyDeleteBanana fana bo bana fee fi mo mana, it's just the word game. Most people truly do not know what to say, death of someone they know reminds them of their own mortality and scares the crap out of them. I am sure that most people that offer condolences or advice do it with genuine feelings to try to make you and themselves feel better. The cold uncaring words of the (il)legal system are designed to be just that. Take solice in the words of the people that cared for Steven and who care about you. Remember they are scared too.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Bres
Bres- It is a "game" to some, and everyone is scared of death, especially that of a young person, someone else's child. Mortality is a taboo issue for many people, it is ugly, & so they flee, others are just cruel,stupid, don't know what to say but mean well, all DO feel how lucky they are that is us, and not them. The (il)legal system speaks for itself as to its total dysfunction,cruelty, hypocrisy, and corruption. Yes it takes a great deal of personal courage, strength, love to stay connected with Steven and us. That is what separates everyone else from the rare few who despite their own fears, pain,
ReplyDeleteemotional burden, don't flee, instead they give their honest feelings,unconditional caring ,support, love, for Steven and us.
Love-Jerry.