Wednesday, June 6, 2018

60 YEARS AGO. WAS IT WORTH IT?



Samuel Wolkoff- June 6th, 1958, forever etched in my soul. 

My father was gruesomely murdered on this day many years ago, at the age of 42. I was 10 years old. 

He lost his life that day, I lost my childhood, my inner peace, and my soul. Samuel Wolkoff was MY FATHER. Tragically, I hardly remember anything about him, and almost nothing about our relationship as father and son.Today's Blog is in memory of Samuel Wolkoff, My Dad, tortured and murdered (CLICK HERE TO READ MORE).

The rest of the year, the ever present demons make sure I remember those whose memories others have tried to erase, these are my family, they were human beings who will never be forgotten by me, they lived and never deserved to die in such horribly suffering ways. 

To me it's very personal when June 6th arrives every year, a very painful day. It has now been 60 agonizing years since my father Samuel Wolkoff was brutally tortured and murdered.


But there are also extremely evil people who visit here. I suppose they come for many different reasons and I can see they are from all over the world.

I get emails frequently, mostly anonymous from others about the monster subhuman animal who murdered my father. They vary from other victims families murdered by the monster, friends of his, and entities that shall remain not named by me.  

Some of you are the cowardly, but powerfully dangerous scum bags who murdered my father, some are close murderous associates of my father, as well as those of you in the arrogant, incompetent, corrupt law enforcement systems, whose agencies knowingly covered their asses, and in doing so, betrayed your sworn oaths to defend justice, by participating in covering up the truth, obstructing justice in this capital offense, which has no statute of limitations.

My father believed in kindness, honesty, family, hard work, ethics, and his rights as a human being to reap the fruits of his labor for himself and our family.

He was a man who did not run away from the corrupt animals who wanted a "cut of his business" for themselves. 

He believed in himself and the law enforcement, legal, supposedly ethical "systems" to protect him from those that wanted the business that he had built from nothing, with his blood and sweat.


He believed in a code of personal ethics, morality, integrity that dictated honor, family, respect, fairness, loyalty, faith in humanity, and that no one is entitled to steal from another human being their right to live.


On June 6th, 1958 the world was already very evil, corrupt, his life was cheap, and scum bags took what they wanted, from who ever they wanted. That was the day they took my father's life, his business, and all of our souls.

Today, June 6th, 2018, the world is infinitely more evil, more corrupt, life is even cheaper, scum bags enjoy their lives as they take even more of what they want, from whomever they choose.


Many of the murderers of my father, and their children are still alive. They have all done extremely well financially and live with a high standard of living for themselves, their families have all thrived in spite of their evil deeds. 


Yes, my father was a hero, he is a hero who sacrificed his life for his beliefs. Seems old fashioned, naive, for someone to believe so strongly in doing the right thing. 

Yet somehow, he who had nothing, created a thriving business, and maintained his righteousness of believing in goodness, his business associates, his relatives, the legal/law enforcement system, and that being a hard working, good person is to be rewarded.


In the end, his naive belief in the humanity of others, particularly his relatives (we know who you are) proved that he was DEAD wrong and he paid for it with his life. 

We all know each other, or about each other, you know I have hidden away safely the written confidential secret official documents with my honest law enforcement and political friends, the written proof of all documented detailed real facts that would expose the ugly truths. 

Nothing to be concerned about, it will remain buried. 

We know the deal that protects all of us, the reasons that nothing else has been done by any of us about my father's murder, the reason these documents will remain hidden, is the unspoken but very clear mutual understanding we all have forever, of don't ever again fuck with any of my family, and in return, we won't fuck with any of you by making the real truth public.

Was it worth the unimaginable pain that he felt as he was tortured slowly for 5 hours on the night of June 6, 1958? 


What must he have been thinking during those horrific hours of going in and out of consciousness as they repeatedly tightened and loosened a rope around his neck?

Samuel Wolkoff's cause of death, 5 long hours of tortured Murder By Strangulation. 

Try to hold your breath for as long as you can, then wait 40 more seconds, exhale, that will give you a tiny sense of the horrific way my father felt for 5  consecutive hours, a rope tied as a noose, was continuously alternately tightened, then loosened around his neck, while his hands were tied behind his back. 

Death, when it finally came, must have been a merciful release for my father.

Was it worth it to believe that your goodness would triumph above evil, that god would watch over you, that law enforcement would protect you, that your wife, and children would not suffer beyond imagination for the rest of our lives?

Justice not served, justice not given, nothing complicated, nothing new, an innocent, good person, a human life stolen without any remorse, it happens all the time. 

How can a loved one who dies suffering, rest in peace, ever? The answer is they cannot rest in peace because of the way they died.
Seems like a simple thing to believe and its even reduced to a short acronym, R.I.P., easy to write. I can't write it, not possible, not after all the never ending suffering of my father, and our family.

Was it worth it, my hero, my dear beloved father? 

Was it worth it?

The march of the dead continues, May/June are the saddest months for me, I dread this time of the year, horrifically gruesome memories of human, innocent lives of my family wasted. 

I am often intrigued as to why over 93,000 people as of this date have visited my Blog. 


There are many good people who come here, victims, families of victims, people seeking justice, those who are fighting against injustice, human beings who care. 

I see search terms on my blog from people who arrive looking for information about my father, a lot of other interesting search words that only "you" would know. 

There are visitors here who are criminals, murderers, organized organized crime family leaders, law enforcement, the curious, all are responsible by their actions or inaction's for the injustices that are specifically detailed in many of my different Blog posts about all the victims I write about.

For an ultra private person like me, a blog is obscenely public, personal, grossly revealing, definitely not my style, but  interestingly, momentarily cleansing, a way of coming out, being up front with unbearable realities, my reality. Mostly I do it for those that can no longer speak for themselves, who experienced unimaginable suffering that ended their lives. In this moment, my father's reality.

I do know that MY FATHER was a courageous HERO. 

Dead heroes, no matter how courageous they are, never get remembered by society for their acts of courage. They are quickly forgotten, except by those who loved them.
Was it worth it for MY FATHER, Samuel Wolkoff, to stand his ground and give up his life in such a terrifying, grotesque manner at the hands of cowardly pussy punks? 

The world did not care about his life and did nothing.

My father's fatal errors that cost him his life? He  believed in trust, in the sense of obligation to very close members of his family, by giving them a chance to change their ways.

The good deeds he did, paid back by these very same, who had him murdered. Horrifically ugly, but brutally true, and they all got away with it, no guilt, no conscience, didn't bother any of them, never mattered to them.

Today we remember my courageous father. He is not resting in peace, and he never will rest in peace, that is certain. 




Monday, May 28, 2018

MY SISTER IRIS

                                                     






It always begins on this date every year.

My beloved sister Iris died on May 28th, 2004, and this marks the beginning of the period each year that fills me with incalculable suffering,
 inexplicable unfairness, tragedy that has wrought its massive destruction of so many good, loved members of my family, who deserved so very much better than they received in life and death.  

Once again, another year has passed and I dread the intensified agony of overwhelming grief that envelops me for these lost souls of my family during the upcoming months.

I need not be told that it is here, since the pain is always present, all the time, year round, but becomes insidiously unbearable as of this date, and in the next few months, every year.

I painfully miss and mourn those of my immediate family who have died, more so than at any other time, as each year passes.

Increasingly difficult, filled with the aching of a lifetime beaten down into the ever present, toxic, non stop personal demons, nightmares, flash backs, with memories vividly stamped inside my brain, as if it were just yesterday that we were all together as a family and of course, big sister and little brother.

I planted purple Iris flowers, one of them pictured above in the garden out front of my house when my sister died.


Each year I take new pictures as they spring to life and insert one on this blog in memory of her. 


I like the idea that they are perennials, returning every year, flowering in all their beauty, now looking so alive on another anniversary today of the day she died, after a courageous, painful battle to live. 

We do that a lot in my family, fighting to live life to the fullest, and when our time comes, refusing to let go until our last precious breath. They call our family fighters, survivors, and that is what we do in both living our life with happiness as a gift never to be taken for granted, and also the darkness which is part of remembering.

Iris was a unique and compassionate person who quietly touched everyone she met with her kindness and strength. 

Iris is missed by all of us who loved her. We will never forget her beautiful smile.

My sister was full of life, insightful, quiet, brave,

loyal, sagely wise, and then she was gone forever, horribly, excruciatingly painfully, and irrevocably. 

She deserved so much better in her short time on this earth but it was not to be.

Iris, my sister, a gift to me in life, was more beautiful in a million ways than these magnificent flowers. 


I will miss you forever my dear sister Iris, most of all, 


I will always miss your caring love. 

I love you. 

Love, Your little brother- Jerry.







Thursday, February 15, 2018

VICTIMS OF THE DOUGLAS HIGH SCHOOL MASS SHOOTING-REST IN PEACE


In retrospect Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate. Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.

       There have been 291 school shootings since 2013.  Sadly there will be many many more in the future as the U.S. is a country that places little or no value on a human life.

For students and teachers from preschools to colleges and universities, school shootings have become a part of American life. The tragedy is just the latest in a series of hundreds of events over the last five years. 
The attack Wednesday February 14, 2018 on Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, marks the 17th shooting on school grounds within the first 45 days of the year, according to Everytown for Gun Safety, a gun control advocacy organization.
Seventeen people were slain and 14 people were hospitalized, authorities said. The suspect, 19-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz, was booked on 17 counts of premeditated murder Thursday, The Associated Press reported.
When a gunman killed 20 first graders and six adults with an assault rifle at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012, it rattled Newtown, Conn., and reverberated across the world. Since then, there have been at least 239 school shootings nationwide. In those episodes, 438 people were shot, 138 of whom were killed.
The victims are always quickly forgotten, meaningless scripted messages of "prayers and thoughts' issued by the full of shit politicians, but nothing is ever done to actually address these massacres of students in our schools.
The rest of America wrings their hands, sighs with "grief'. silently believing that it is always "someones elses children", and crawls back into their bubbles of denial.
The victims  and families of the Douglas High School killings never expected themselves to be "someone else's children" but in a nano second their lives were snuffed out and families experienced a parents worst nightmare that will never end.
The victims have names, faces, dreams, lives that are over forever. They will never be parents, never become old, never feel the fresh air of life ever again. In memory of these 17 victims, below are who they were and that they are human beings who are innocent victims of a country that places guns over lives, and a deranged shooter who doesn't deserve to be alive.
                                    REST IN PEACE

Alyssa Alhadeff, 14

Alyssa Alhadeff was an avid soccer player at the Parkland Soccer Club. In a Facebook post, the club shared a note from her family that reads, “To Alyssa’s Friends honor Alyssa by doing something fabulous in your life. Don’t ever give up and inspire for greatness. Live for Alyssa! Be her voice and breathe for her. Alyssa loved you all forever!”


Martin Duque, 14

Martin Duque was a freshman at Stoneman Douglas when he was killed during the shooting on Wednesday. His brother Miguel confirmed his death on Instagram, and wrote on the family’s GoFundMe page, “He was a very funny kid, outgoing and sometimes really quiet. He was sweet and caring and loved by all his family. Most of all he was my baby brother.”


Nicholas Dworet, 17

Swimmer Nicholas Dworet, a senior at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, had just recently accepted an academic scholarship at the University of Indianapolis and committed to join its swim team in the fall, before he was killed during the massacre, the Indianapolis Star reports.



Jamie Guttenberg, 14

In a Facebook post, Fred Guttenberg confirmed that his daughter Jamie had been killed during the shooting. His son, Jesse, survived the massacre. “My heart is broken,” he wrote in the post. Her cousin also wrote on Facebook that Jamie had been the most “beautiful, kind-hearted, driven, funny and sweet girl.


Luke Hoyer, 15

Luke Hoyer’s grandparents confirmed to WYFF that he was killed during the massacre. “He was a good kid. He was never got in trouble. He was the last of my daughter’s children who still lived at home,” his grandmother Janice Stroud said.

Cara Loughran,14

Cara Loughran was named as a victim in probable cause documents, and her family’s neighbor Danny Vogel confirmed her death on Facebook. “RIP Cara, and fly with the angels. You will be greatly missed, and we will always love you and celebrate your beautiful life,” Vogel wrote.


Gina Montalto, 14

Gina Montalto, 14, was a member of the school band’s winter guard dance team. She had been scheduled to compete in a winter guard tournament this upcoming weekend. Her school band confirmed Gina’s death in aFacebook statement. Gina’s former teacher told the Miami Herald, “She was the sweetest soul ever. She was kind, caring always smiling and wanting to help.”


Joaquin Oliver, 17

According to CNN, Joaquin Oliver was named as a victim in probable cause documents released on Thursday. Joaquin had moved to the U.S. from Venezuela at the age of 3, and had become a U.S. citizen in January 2017. His girlfriend, Victoria González, confirmed to the Herald that he was killed.





Alaina Petty, 14


Freshman Alaina Petty’s church leader confirmed that she was killed during the massacre in an email sent out to members of the Mormon church community. Her aunt also reportedly confirmed Alaina’s death in a Facebook post, writing, “There are no hashtags for moments like this, only sadness.”


Meadow Pollack, 18

Meadow Pollack was a senior at the school and planning to attend Lynn University in Boca Raton next year, her father told the New York Times, confirming her death. She worked at her boyfriend’s family’s motorcycle repair business, and has been described as smart, caring, and beautiful. “She was just unbelievable,” Pollack told the Times. “She was a very strong-willed young girl who had everything going for her".



Helena Ramsey, 17

Student Helena Ramsey was killed during the massacre, officials confirmed on Thursday. A member of her family wrote on Facebook, “Helena was a smart, kind hearted, and thoughtful person. She was deeply loved and loved others even more so. Though she was some what reserved, she had a relentless motivation towards her academic studies, and her soft warm demeanor brought the best out in all who knew her.”


Alex Schachter, 14

Alex Schachter was a freshman at the school and a member of its marching band. According to the New York Times, he also loved to play basketball. His father, Max, told the Times that he was a “sweetheart of a kid,” and that Alex’s mother had died when he was only 5 years old. His older brother also attends the school and survived the massacre.

Carmen Schentrup, 16

Carmen Schentrup was a 2018 National Merit Scholar semifinalist. Her cousin Matt Brandow confirmed her death on Facebook, writing that she had wanted to go to the University of Washington. “Rest In Peace Carmen, you were the smartest and most intelligible 16 year old I’ve ever met! You will be remembered forever,” he wrote.

Peter Wang, 15

Student Peter Wang was killed during the massacre, his cousin Aaron Chen confirmed to First Coast News. He was last seen holding a door open so that others could escape the shooter, his cousin told the Miami Herald. His name was released as a victim in probable cause documents.