What's Love Got To Do With It?

My posts on this blog and elsewhere often exude anger, sometimes love. Emotions of extremes, or are they really so opposite? What does my anger have to do with Love?

Often it is my intention to point out feeling of injustice, mistreatment, helplessness, violations of basic human rights, lack of control in this world, but on this blog in particular, about the unecessary horrific death of my first born son, Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff.

The commonality among most of my posts on this blog is that there has been a violation of expectations, of the order of reality, and the unreal bizarre things that are now our reality. In other words, my responses to situations with a sense that this shouldn't be happening, especially not to my family, not to me. There is a certain way things should be: we are innocent victims, we have rights, we have pride, and Steven should be alive today. My family should not be suffering in endless pain and Steven did not deserve to experience the agony he felt, as he slowly, painfully died. All of these go against the natural order of life, a parent should not bury their child.

What the Wolkoff's or anyone else does is their business, as long as they do not deliberately physically injure anyone in the process of living their lives. We should be able to complete it, it should work out as expected it would; this is the way things are supposed to be done in this society, and certain variations introduce chaos and cannot be permitted; the world has a certain lawfulness to it, including supposedly a justice that is above any merely social law, and you or this event violates that lawfulness.

I often refer to "YOU" as those who do not take responsibilty, ownership for their actions and/or inactions on the lives of others. It seems to have become the new social norm of our society, where it is always someone else's fault, never the person or entity that causes the harm.

I also refer to it as the ARROGANCE OF LAW, practiced by THE INSTITUTIONS OF our LEGAL SYSTEM, without any conscience, no regard, to right or wrong, fairness, victims rights, human rights, or justice. THESE INSTITUTIONS OF LAW supposedly in charge of fairly enforcing Laws and protecting us, instead deliberately manipulate laws, acting ruthlessly, indiscriminately, no different than a Mafia criminal would act in ignoring the value of a human life.

It is clear, though, that not everyone responds to these situations with anger. I am one of those people that do, for I have been through the injustice of all the above many times in my life and know that unless one becomes proactive, nothing will happen to address these issues.

Most of us are taught to bury our anger. I don't, my anger involves an active response to the problem. Anger sees the problem as "out there" rather than "in here," and I see it as something to be confronted, rather than run away from. I have always become angry at unjust things that happen to others, even when these things don't impact on me. I often have identified with the "underdog" and put myself in someone else's shoes (love, sympathy, empathy, compassion).

My anger still exits for helping those "others", but ever since Steven's death and the continuing deliberate way that we as victims are re-victimized, disrespected, and dehumanized, it is real personal now.

My anger comes from my soul, from who I am, it also comes from who Steven was and could have been, and seeing how my family has been traumatized. I believe that despite all the physical and behavioral effects so easily associated with anger, it is basically coming from my inner being, my soul.

Life can be unfair. My anger is an expression of intense love for those I care about. I desire to return to the time before Steven's death, an effort at removing the things, or events that so dramatically, permanently changed our lives forever. Anything else is just a substitute. This desire cannot be attained. You just can't reverse time.

So, like Don Quiote, I tilt at windmills, trying my best to re-establish a just world for my loved ones, a lawful world, where things go as they should. I want justice, accountability FOR STEVEN, for my family. This is "only fair." My anger and my love act as symbolic creatures, expressing my feelings, "venting" them, hopefully bringing the truth to others, of injustice. I try to light a fire under the asses of all who can help us, and expose those who try to hide the truth. This is the "civilized" response, but it tends to degenerate in its effectiveness in the face of those who will stop at nothing to keep the truth from being told, who profit by manipulating their power, or the laws to hide behind, and thwart justice from being served.

What does all this mean to me?

I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting or have my children obsessively thinking about things we should have done or said in defense of what has happened to Steven and us. I want there to be a clear self understanding, regardless of the legal outcomes, that we ALL did our personal very best, that we have hired the most professional lawyers to bring justice and accountability to Steven having his life unnecessarily stolen from him.

I want Steven to be remembered forever as the awesome brother, son, friend, human being that he was in our lives, and that he made a positive difference to each of us, HE LIVED, and yes he died for no reason at all. Who will be the truthful loved ones to honor Steven and talk of his journey for generations to come, so that he will never be forgotten?

Anger is a "normal" state, not a pathological one. There may be better ways to deal with problems, but this is a very human one. The essence of my anger is a response to a violation of what I perceive to be the rules of reality that we cannot and should not adapt, nor accept that violation, that its source is out there and should be changed.

It would be wonderful to return to "normality," to some sort of justice, lawfulness, people being held responsible for their behavior when it hurts others. Personally I know this is likely not remotely feasible, but I attempt to approach this as a goal, as best as I can. I do so with my anger and my love, because that is who I am. It is the very best that I know how to respect Steven, my children, and myself.

Part 2-god Does Not Bless America Or Americans

Justice has no positive miracles for innocent victims, in my fantasy I imagined the Justice System forcing the State of California to use a Public Defender and do the best they can at preparing a defense, which is what would have happened if it were you or I were the defendant.

The Govt. gets what it wants using the most ridiculous motion of having no $ to defend themselves and it has now been approved by the System. This will delay the Jury Trial of Steven's wrongful death case against ALL the defendants to a future, different rescheduled date.

We have already filed the necessary legal Order for the setting of a new trial date .

While I expected this and was told by our Lawyers this would happen, I am nevertheless upset that this continued mockery of Justice prevails- The Circus and Theater of The Absurd goes on. There is no such thing as true justice and the legal system is not interested in protecting the rights of victims. It is a truly ugly reality- Do NOT for a second believe that we live in a society whose laws treats all of us equally.

I promise this- We will NOT give up the fight, and we will outwait, outlast, "them", and persevere, doing our very best, to obtain those rights against all those who would deny us, FOR STEVEN.



Disclaimer- The views and opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of anyone else.The views and opinions expressed by me above, be they in text, pictures or sound, are my own not those of any one else. Any points of information written by me should not be considered facts and I will not be held liable were they to be considered as such and subsequently cause issues.While I try and make my posts as accurate to my life as possible some things are deliberately left out or censored and as such my postings are not to be considered in any way a viable method for judging my character or suitableness, doing so will be considered an infringement of my rights. Where possible any infringement of my rights will be pursued using applicable points of law.

Belief

As a young man, I saw my life ahead as having so much time, so many years and adventures ahead, that belief was easy. My hopes were relatively humble, a family of my own, children who would be my most important legacy, health, happiness, and some inner peace. It's all out there, needing only belief and effort to reel it in.

Much the same can be said about everything else in life such as success, making a difference for others, achievement, faith. In some very important ways I have achieved these hopes and turned them into a wonderful reality, one that I never imagined was possible for myself to attain. Life is good, I am grateful for that.

Yet, still, there has been enormous, extreme personal pain, tragedies, and anguish during my journey, as I didn't realize the incredible power of the illusive intruder of fate, the unknown, and its uncontrollable, insatiable, need to interfere with ones dreams.

Karma, fate, the unknown, whatever you want to call it, is an irrational part of life that has no rules, seemingly reduced to a mathematical random formula, having nothing to do with your being a good person or an evil devil.

This life is a journey for each of us, one that is unfolding as I write. For me, the challenges are certainly real enough on all sides of my ledger. Life so far has been a positive miracle in so many ways, and also a horrific ugly living nightmare in other parts.

Second, third, more chances are finite, a realization that hits only when its mostly too late to do anything about it. It all seems to be an unanswerable puzzle, impossible to solve, a maze of unpredictable, endless twists and turns, of which many seem to make no sense, nor follow any logical direction.

I don't know anymore, not sure if belief is enough, and I wonder if in the end, any of these questions will get answered, if there is some plan, some rhyme or reason for all that has happened, all that I have been, have done, have felt, that which I feel now, or are no longer able to feel, and what will I experience in the future.

It is in that sense that maybe we all share life's quandary, predicaments and confusion. In the end, will my path make any sense at all?

Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth

YOU know who YOU are. YOU are the ones who cannot sleep, cannot forget your actions/inactions, and keep visiting these links because you know that I know who you are, Steven knows who you are. But you are deeply bothered by intense guilt, for you have lied and kept hidden, important parts of the truth. Your conscience keeps haunting you and will continue to do so forever unless you do the right thing, tell the truth. You are afraid because telling the truth has risks, but hiding it will never release you from the demons inside of yourself. You need some peace, have the courage to tell all the truth to us, release yourself from your agony of lying, deceipt, and cleanse your soul. You will not get a second chance, do it for Steven, do it for yourself, free your soul. If you need my help, let me know, I will treat you with respect.

No Drivers License, Indeed!

The fact that this driver (see below) had no drivers license, broke the law, and did not know how to drive a car safely, because he never passed any DMV test like the rest of us are required, well that is just totally ignored, never mentioned, just a seemingly benign law disregarded.

San Francisco, a Sanctuary city, a "progressive city", bullshit, it is a city totally out of control, in a bankrupt State of insanity, with its priorities ass backwards, condoning, encouraging unsafe drivers who kill/injure/maim people with their illegal, untrained use of automobiles because their "rights" as illegal aliens, or for that matter, anyone legal or illegal, without a drivers license, is more important, than enforcing the law to the same standards that the rest of us are held to.

What a disturbing, sick, set of priorities. "Review the Police Manual", Clarify Warrants Procedures, Refresher Training, an area that is very complicated", rocket science indeed, that will make it all better and safer for the rest of us.

No one addresses the real issues of enforcing the laws requiring a driver to have a drivers license, instead of deliberately ignoring it. Proudly give the unlicensed driver a gold star for giving his name and address, shamelessly use it as an excuse to rationalize his breaking the law,what a stand up guy, in a City governed by idiots.

Who are the victims here, the unlicensed driver, or the countless innocent people killed, injured by those who never passed a drivers license test to demonstrate their ability to drive safely? A car is like a loaded gun in the hands of someone who does not have a license, would these same city officials be so forgiving about lawbreakers illegally posessing loaded handguns with a no carry license?

Cowards and hypocrites, all of the above Officials, and the driver, never caring enough to protect the safety and lives of innocent, law abiding people. Breeding contempt of the Laws and respect for others, most importantly, legally reinforcing the lack of responsibility in taking ownership that ones individual actions can and do have a negative, often deadly impact on the lives of others. Again one set of laws for those of us who follow the Laws and then a second set of rules for others who make them up as they choose.

How do we protect our children and our loved ones from those that have no sense of respect for human life? What chance do we have against this system that has lost control of the basic civilized moral definitions of what is right and wrong ?

http://www.sfexaminer.com/local/Police-interaction-with-immigrants-in-spotlight---98678539.html

By: Katie Worth Examiner Staff WriterJuly 18, 2010

How police handle immigration issues is under thorough review and a rewriting of the rules that govern how officers deal with undocumented immigrants has been proposed.

As reported by The Examiner, it was revealed last month that an undocumented immigrant was handed over to federal authorities after a routine traffic stop in the Ingleside neighborhood. As a result of the incident, police Chief George Gascón has called for training of officers on The City’s sanctuary city policy, which was enacted in 1989 and, with exceptions, bars city employees from using any funds or resources to assist in federal enforcement of immigration law.

The Police Commission has also called for a review, and perhaps partial rewriting, of the policy that guides how police handle immigration issues.
Police stopped a driver June 2 after he failed to come to a complete stop at a stop sign, according to the police report. The Salvadorian — who his lawyer says has resided in the United States for five years — did not have a driver’s license, but did provide police with his name and date of birth.

A check of the information on the terminal in the patrol car did not find any criminal history, according to police. What may have popped up was a federal immigration warrant that was reportedly issued four years ago after a court hearing about immigration status was missed.

The man was arrested on suspicion of driving without a license, and his warrant information was provided to the Sheriff’s Department, which contacted U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. It remains unclear if the police ever contacted the federal agency directly.

The police say that, according to ICE and the Sheriff’s Department, civil immigration warrants — warrants issued not by a judge, but by ICE administrators themselves — do not show up in the databases that police view, according to Capt. David Lazar. Police Commissioners Angela Chan and Jim Hammer asked Lazar to double check whether the administrative warrants are, indeed, showing up in the databases.

The commissioners also called for a careful review of the Police Department’s manual, as it pertains to the Sanctuary City policy.
Gascón said he’s not convinced the policy needs an overhaul but agreed it should be reviewed. He also agreed to produce a bulletin for officers to clarify the policy regarding warrants.“This is an area that’s very complicated,” he said. “So for our purpose a refresher training is timely and we’ll go ahead and do it.”

kworth@sfexaminer.com

God Does NOT Bless America, or Americans

It appears that certain Agencies of the State of California are using the "legal" excuse that they have no money at this time to pay for the preparation of certain legal claims against them. Hard to believe, but this is actually potentially an acceptable excuse for the delay of scheduled legal actions against them. If you or I had mismanaged our money, the IRS, the Govt., the County, the Banks, would foreclose on our homes, harass us endlessly, freeze/attach liens to our assets/salaries, and prosecute us forever, in a second, but when the Govt. mismanage their money, nothing gets done to them, they can actually use it as an excuse to avoid their responsibilities- Surprise, not really, shocking, yes, because this is real.

Once again, this is the reality of America. This is an example of the circus of justice, theatre of the absurd, what a mockery of Justice. If you and I tried to say we had no money, we would be ignored, held acccountable both financially/legally, but the Govt. can say/do whatever they want, and legally get away with it. There is no such thing as justice, and no one gives a damn.

Civilized progressive society, NO WAY, more like criminally corrupt, greedy and lawless, justice and balance does not exist in the law and only serve self interest groups, including those in power and what they can get out of it. The rest of us are considered unequal, with disrespect and disdain for our rights, by those who make and enforce the laws.

Never believe that we live in a democratic society where all people are equal. The ARROGANCE of the LAW does what ever it wants, when it wants, to protect the asses of itself, and could care less about us as humans.

Victims and families of victims are in particular treated the harshest and are to be disposed of in inhumane, traumatic, slimy manipulations of the Law, as if we are the guilty ones. The real guilty perpertrators who have violtated the Laws, have more rights than us.

God does NOT bless America and/or Americans, he/she only blesses the evil, corrupt, and the powerful.

Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of anyone else.The views and opinions expressed by me above, be they in text, pictures or sound, are my own not those of any one else. Any points of information written by me should not be considered facts and I will not be held liable were they to be considered as such and subsequently cause issues.While I try and make my posts as accurate to my life as possible some things are deliberately left out or censored and as such my postings are not to be considered in any way a viable method for judging my character or suitableness, doing so will be considered an infringement of my rights. Where possible any infringement of my rights will be pursued using applicable points of law.

Returning From San Francisco-My Thoughts/Feelings

Almost every time I return from San Francisco regarding our legal case for the wrongful death of Steven, I am stunned, numb, angry, hurt, and painfully aware of the way I feel. We are victimized once again, traumatized once again, disrespected once again, emotionally tortured once again, often despicably treated by the defendants Attorney's.

Our Family (and other families of victims) who have to deal with the legal system, or criminal justice, and its dismal effects on us, who are just still trying to survive the loss of an innocent loved one, we are never considered. We the victims, are members of an exclusive "Club" that no one ever wants to be a member of, nor do others have any clue to what it really means to live forever with these endless scars, our horrific loss has wrecked our families and our lives forever.

Certain lawyers for the defendants are "just doing their jobs", as someone explained to me. No, I disagree, that is not true, it is their choice to pick this sub speciality as a career, their choice of how to conduct their professional behavior, their choice to understand or not how they or their loved ones, or even themselves could become a victim in a nano second, ultimately their choice to be human or not. They are highly rewarded financially for making money off of other human beings grief and it makes one wonder how they can sleep at night. I believe the answer to that speaks for itself.

In fact the death of Steven seems at times like a big joke to certain others, who go about 'their jobs' as if nothing horrific has happened, as they banter among themselves, dissecting words, actions, inactions, legal statutes, with pasted smug smiles often on their faces, never talking directly about Steven.

As we move through the legal phases hoping people take responsibility, I discover, not surprisingly, but still absolutely shocking to me, that many people do not tell the truth under oath in order to protect themselves, often coincidentally having sudden huge lapses in their memory of what they cannot recall, and that Steven again is almost never mentioned. It is all about the defendants, their rights, not Steven's rights, just legal mumbo jumbo words, twisting and manipulating the holes in the law by using "magic" legal terms to evade the truth. Actors and Actresses
in a theatre of the absurd, a circus of clowns.

What I find is that I am treated like a criminal and that at no point is the legal system designed or even remotely concerned to be helpful or compassionate to us, the victims. Lawyers have gone as far as unbelievably trashing Steven, calling him unthinkable names, blaming his death somehow on him, looked into the most intimate, personal, irrelevant details of his/our lives, as if we were on trial, using provocation and baiting to try to get me to yell at them or attack them, as if in someway that would make me guilty of something.

"They" know the truth of Steven's unnecessary horrific suffering, yet hollow, hypocritical words of sympathy sometimes are offered to us, as if that makes everything OK, but actions speak the truth, that in the system of Law, human life is cheap and dispensable as a crushed paper cup.

Justice and accountability will be obtained in some ways for Steven by us, in the best honorable, truthful manner we know how, using the most professional caring Attorneys we have representing him. But justice and accountability is defined very differently by the legal system which dilutes, impersonalizes, and dishonors victims. Justice and accountability for killing a human being is elusive, in a legal system that mocks the innocent victims and degrades the amazing human life of Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, lost to him, and to us, forever. Jerry

Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of anyone else.
The views and opinions expressed by me above, be they in text, pictures or sound, are my own not those of any one else. Any points of information written by me should not be considered facts and I will not be held liable were they to be considered as such and subsequently cause issues.
While I try and make my posts as accurate to my life as possible some things are deliberately left out or censored and as such my postings are not to be considered in any way a viable method for judging my character or suitableness, doing so will be considered an infringement of my rights. Where possible any infringement of my rights will be pursued using applicable points of law.