A SOCIETY OF CRUELTY-ROBIN WILLIAMS

Since Robin Williams died, amateur Internet shrinks, trolls, self appointed experts have been busy diagnosing a person they never met.

Robin Williams was a victim, similar to all the victims that I write about on this blog. Everyone else seems to have an opinion about what happened to him and why.

Some of it has been cruel, perpetrated by people who justify their cruelty as a necessary deterrent to suicide: as if bullying, criticizing the dead is some kind of public service.

But Robin Williams wasn't a monster.  He had a weakness. He was a human being who became a victim. 

He was a man with a family, not simply a famous celebrity that was seen through the plastic illusion of what he appeared to be in his public career.

The dark corners of the web feed on weakness to draw energy from cruelty, with arm chair experts spouting their clueless opinions on his life, death.

The Internet and various forms of media allow others to talk big, but the truth is that we all suffer from the many weaknesses of being human. One small step and any of us can become a victim of life's obstacles.

Yet the keyboard cowboys continue to shoot victims down ruthlessly, with no regard to any sense of compassion, or how close any of us are to the frailties of life.

In a society of cruelty and criticism it's easy to be mean.

We need more people who have enough courage to be kind.

AMERICANS ARE SICK OF GOVERNMENT...PERIOD

Americans are sick of government...

PERIOD

---

 

 A new Gallup poll highlights the fact that Americans are at their wits’ end with government, all three branches of government.


Confidence in the Supreme Court, Congress, and the presidency has hit record lows.

The Supreme Court is down to a 30 percent approval rating, an all time low. Congress is currently at 7 percent, another all time low. The President is now at 29 percent, a six year low, and an all time low under Obama, just 4 points higher than the all time low under then reviled George W. Bush in 2007.

The branch with the most steep drop in confidence is the presidency, falling a full seven percentage points from its 2013 rating of 36 percent.

Obama is currently experiencing worse ratings than his two predecessors, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, at the same point in their terms, and has done in each subsequent year of his presidency.

To put this into further perspective, in 1998 Bill Clinton had a rating 24 points higher than Obama currently does, despite the fact that he was embroiled in a sex scandal and facing impeachment. 


At the same point in Bush’s presidency, his approval remained higher than Obama’s is now, despite the fact that American support for the Iraq war was at an all time low.

Since this time last year, approval for the Supreme Court, has fallen by four points, with approval for Congress falling three points. It’s a steady decline, with both branches having fared poorly from 2012 to 2013 also.


Congress, as highlighted above, is now trusted by fewer than one in ten Americans. With more government scandals than you can shake a stick at, economic stagnation, destruction of the middle class, the widening gap between rich and poor, a crumbling nation wide infrastructure, Americans clearly feel that Congress is utterly failing to represent their views and wishes on Capitol Hill.

Gallup has also noted that of 17 institutions it has measured this year, Congress came rock bottom in terms of confidence status with Americans. 

The criminal justice system, the health care system, and even banks all ranked much higher.

America’s elected representatives are also still viewed in a worse light than zombies, witches, dog poop, potholes, toenail fungus, and hemorrhoids. 

Congress also still ranks less popular than cockroaches, lice, root canals, colonoscopies, traffic jams, used car salesmen, Genghis Khan, Communism, North Korea, BP during the Gulf Oil Spill, or Nixon during Watergate.

“While Americans clearly have the lowest amount of confidence in the legislative branch, ratings for all three are down and are at or near their lowest points to date.” Gallup notes.

Up until now, the bizarre loyalty of American voters has been that when they are asked if they'd vote for their own Congressman, historically a majority has said "Yes."

Until now.

The numbers have finally went upside down (CLICK HERE), with a majority now saying they would vote against even their own Member of Congress.

Most Americans now say Congress is so dysfunctional, they wouldn't even reelect their own Congressperson.

However, there is often a disconnect between what voters say and actually do in the voting booth. There is also a widespread failure of voters to actually cast a vote because they have no faith in the candidate's running for political office

In many ways the problem is staring at us every morning in the bathroom mirror.
 
Why do we keep voting for people we hate or not voting at all to dump them from their thrones of self indulging power?
 
Voters don't blame themselves, but in fact, they are part of the problem. They don't vote in primaries when it really matters. That is how they get stuck with two idiot clowns on the November general election ballot because they weren't there voting when these clowns were first  selected in the primaries.

But the major part of the problem is that we in fact do not actually have a choice in elections, such as the upcoming mid year elections in November 2014.
 
Those running for Office have already usually been bought and paid for by special interest groups, to even get their name on the ballot.

Both Democrats and Republicans have cleverly redrawn the voting maps to redistrict the voters into safe party enclaves, so there really is no choice in much of America to kick out the politicians who have turned us all into powerless victims. 

Yes, the slime ball politicians have abused their power by "fixing' the system so that your vote against them will not count very much, if at all.

The Founders of the Constitution agreed that we needed a representative democracy,

• They wanted a democracy, which according to their beliefs is a government where the views of the people were represented by popularly elected leaders.
  1. Leaders have to be regularly elected by their constituents.
  2. The central purpose of government is to protect the natural rights of its citizens.

Wouldn't it be nice if we as citizens could use our constitutional rights to persuade the local 
Congresspersons to change their attitude by demanding action to reform the current shit hole called Congress?
 
Can that happen, after all, we are The United States of America, land of the free and where democracy reigns supreme.

To be honest: No. This is not going to happen by those drunk with their own self interest, greed, corruption, and political power.

Don't you just hate honesty?

JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL/MIDDLE SCHOOL-BE ORDINARY IS THE REAL COOL

I still am not sure what ever happened to Junior High School being replaced by the terminology of Middle School. I suppose that it is part of the idiotic marketing  concept of creating a false illusion that something has actually been changed for the better, but in reality nothing has been changed.

Most kids want to be popular more than anything else, as life at that age is generally about wanting to have a lot of friends, to "fit in", be "cool", and to be liked by your peers. 

Peer pressure is the guiding force and the master of determining who is to be judged as "in" and those others who are exiled to be called the nerds, losers because they do not fit the mostly cosmetic requirements of being in the popular category.

When you were in Junior High School (AKA Middle School), what did you want to be? 

Psychologist Joseph Allen, who teaches at the University of Virginia, decided to track a large class of middle school kids into adulthood.

Being king or queen of the school hallways might seem cool in your teens, but it doesn't bode well for your social status later in life, a new study suggests. 

Teens who try to act older than their age might gain popularity early on but are more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol and engage in serious criminal behavior by their early 20s, according to the study (CLICK HERE FOR STUDY) published in the journal "Child Development". 


"It appears that while so-called cool teens' behavior might have been linked to early popularity, over time, these teens needed more and more extreme behaviors to try to appear cool," Joseph P. Allen, lead author and professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, said in statement.


The finding comes from a 10 year study in which researchers followed 184 students as they progressed from age 13 to 23.


At 13, those who exhibited  "pseudomature behaviors", a catchall term for behaviors that seem to boost perceived popularity were rated as more popular by their peers. 

The cooler kids impressed their peers through displays of romantic behavior (like kissing or touching), deviant acts (like damaging their parents' property or sneaking into a movie theater without a ticket), or by associating themselves with more physically attractive friends. 

As the years went on, however, these antics did not correlate to an increase in popularity. In fact, just the opposite happened. 

The pseudomature behaviors evolved into larger problems and the status of once cool individuals dropped: 

"The adolescent who comes to depend upon pseudomature behavior to gain peer status may gradually need to shift, for example, from minor forms of delinquency, such as vandalism and shoplifting, to more serious acts of criminal behavior such as everything from drunken driving arrests to losing jobs, to being arrested or fighting in public, to impress even a subset of older peers," the authors wrote.  


The chart below shows that students who engaged in pseudomature behavior at 13 were perceived as more popular by their peers than those who did not engage in pseudomature behavior, but that correlation faded over time. 

If the trend lines continued past age 15, you'd expect so-called cool-kid behavior to be less associated with popularity as people get older  and that's exactly what happened.


By 22, the cool kids struggled to make friends. "These previously cool teens appeared less competent socially than their less cool peers by the time they reached young adulthood," Allen said.  


Teens who become popular simply by hanging out with pretty people probably don't work as hard to develop meaningful relationships, according to the study. That behavior is carried into adulthood, to their detriment. 

The study didn't look into why these kids feel such a deep need to be popular, whether it's inborn or because of what may be going on at home. 

But Dr. Allen says his research should reassure the parents of the not so popular kids.

"If their kids are in middle school and they're seen as being left out or left behind, maybe they're actually doing just fine," says Allen. 

I would like to believe that all of this means "being ordinary"  as an adolescent often translates into becoming extraordinary, productive, and happy as an adult, instead of being determined by how many friends you have as a teenager.

Now if we can only convince kids that this is true, it may just be the most important piece of knowledge they will learn in Junior High school.

FLATULATION IS GOOD FOR YOU, ACCORDING TO NEW SCIENTIFIC STUDY

Everyday we read or hear about new scientific studies that advise us about their findings. It's gotten to the point where there are so many different studies of many different topics, often with contradictory findings, that we become more confused than enlightened as to what is actually healthy for us.

Today I came across a newly "released" scientific study of major importance that seems to pass the universal "smell" test as to it's veracity as "being good for your health". 

It' simple to do, costs nothing to buy, is domestically produced, everyone can do it, including those with special diets, plus we have an endless, unlimited supply, and it's homeopathic, rich in natural ingredients.

The Oxford dictionary describes the word flatulence as " a condition in which excessive gas builds up in the intestines and is then released, also known as farting, tooting, break wind, passing gas, cut cheese, the dog did it, and ripping.

Flatulence or Farting may stink to high heaven, but a new study suggests that the gas responsible for that foul odor may actually extend a person’s time on earth.

Scientists in the UK claim that hydrogen sulfide, the stinky compound that smells like rotten eggs which contributes to the flatulence stench, could have amazing health benefits.

Hydrogen sulfide can be toxic, but tiny amounts have been shown to help protect the mitochondria, which are known as the “powerhouses” of cells.

Study author Dr. Matt Whiteman of the University of Exeter explained that diseased cells draw in enzymes to create small quantities of the compound, which helps keep the mitochondria going and the cell alive.

“If this doesn't happen, the cells die and lose the ability to regulate survival and control inflammation,” he said in a release.

The scientists said they have created a new compound known as AP36 that harnesses the power of hydrogen sulfide and can deliver it to the mitochondria.

Protecting or reversing damage to this part of the cell is a crucial part of treating many conditions, including stroke, diabetes, heart failure and dementia.

Hydrogen sulfide “could in fact be a health care hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,” study author Dr. Mark Wood said.

The team is working on advancing research to the stage where the compound can be tested in humans.

THE STUDY- CLICK HERE-was published in the journal Medicinal Chemistry Communications.

Why do we fart? Why do farts smell? Passing gas may be embarrassing for most of us, but it might make you feel better to know that it's one of the most common bodily functions of all time. In fact, the word "fart" is one of the oldest words in the English language!

This led me on a quest to ascertain additional research about the topic that I can share with you below:

1) What Is A Fart, Exactly?

Farts are caused by trapped air, which can come from many sources. Some of it is air that we have swallowed while chewing or drinking. Some air is caused by gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts. A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink. Farts make a sound when they escape due to the vibrations of the rectum. The loudness may vary depending on how much pressure is behind the gas, as well as the tightness of the sphincter muscles.(Source)

2) Why Do Farts Smell Bad?

The more sulfur-rich your diet is, the more terrible your farts will smell. Some foods contain more sulfur than others, which is why eating things like beans, lentils, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs can cause gas that will peel the paint off the walls!

3) People pass gas about 14-20 times per day

The average person produces about half a liter of farts every single day, and even though many women won't admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men. If a person were to fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, they would produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb. (Source)

4) Farts Have Been Clocked At A Speed Of 10 Feet Per Second.

Though farts come out with varying velocities, we don't typically smell them for about 10-15 seconds after letting them rip. This is because it takes that long for the odor to reach your nostrils.(Source)

5) Holding Farts In Could Be Bad For Your Health

Doctors disagree on whether or not holding in a fart is bad for your health. Some experts think that farts are a natural part of your digestive system, so holding them in won't harm you. Others think that at best, holding them in can cause gas, bloating, and other uncomfortable symptoms, and at worst, repressing gas can cause hemorrhoids or a distended bowel.(Source)

6) For Some Cultures, Farting Is No Big Deal

While most cultures feel that farts should be suppressed in polite company, there are some cultures that not only don't mind letting them fly in public, but they actually enjoy it. An Indian tribe in South America called the Yanomami fart as a greeting, and in China you can actually get a job as a professional fart smeller! In ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius, fearing that holding farts in was bad for the health, passed a law stating that it was acceptable to break wind at banquets. (Source 1 | Source 2)

7) Farts Are Flammable

As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it's a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous. In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines have caused explosions during intestinal surgeries! (Source 1 | Source 2 | Source 3 )

8) Termites Produce The Most Farts Of Any Other Animal

It's hard to believe that the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem on the planet. Termites fart more than any other animal, which produces methane gas. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, "Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to be between 2 and 22 Tg per year, making them the second largest natural source of methane emissions. Methane is produced in termites as part of their normal digestive process, and the amount generated varies among different species." 

9) If You Hold Them In, They'll Just Come Out When You Sleep.

Even if you clenched your butt and held them in all day, the gas will escape once you relax. What's more relaxing than sleep?(Source)

Before you think that my blog post of today stinks, perhaps consider to go ahead and enjoy those lentils. Chow down on the cabbage. Then if you stink a little, think of it as a thank you gesture gift from yourself.

HONOR WITH INDIFFERENCE-JIM NAPOLEAN GARCIA-71 YR.OLD VET DIES IN HOSPITAL CAFETERIA, 500 YARDS FROM ER, DELAYED BY VA POLICY TO CALL 911

Could the bureaucracy at Veterans Affairs hospitals get any worse even as we celebrate the Declaration of Independence today July 4, 2014 and remember the soldiers who took up arms for our freedom? 

On Thursday, July 3rd, Jim Napoleon Garcia, a

71 year old Vietnam War veteran died at the Albuquerque, New Mexico Veteran Affairs hospital. 

The man collapsed in the cafeteria, which is only 500 yards away from the emergency room. 

Rather than the hospital staff running and grabbing a gurney to rush the man to the ER, they instead called an ambulance, as was mandated by protocol, and attempted CPR while they waited. 

Although the ambulance was called immediately after the man collapsed and the ER was less than a five-minute walk from where he was, it took 30 minutes for the ambulance to arrive. By that time, the human victim of this moronic stupidity was dead. 

VA spokeswoman Sonja Brown, who performed CPR to no avail until the ambulance finally arrived said, “Our policy is under expedited review.” Wow, that's swell of them to expedite it.

Meanwhile, a family will be without their loved one on Independence Day because of the deliberate stupidity of VA "protocol" at the VA that potentially cost a man his life.

This is one of the most ignorant reasons for someone dying. 

Wasn't there someone around who was passionate enough about saving a life that they would throw policy out the window and do the right thing, get a gurney, and push him to the next building to save his life. 

How do people get to be so complacent? Every day I hear or read something that makes me think I've heard or seen the worst thing that could ever happen, but the next day there is another one. What has happened to the humanity of the human race?

While Patriotism is the most significant, common-core value that Americans share between themselves, our soldiers have been one of the most abused class of people in this entire country.

Hypocritically, both Republicans and Democrats tout the honor and commitment that these men and women give, and die doing every day, and while both parties frame as many political issues within the contextual theater of troops, the defense of our country, and War, the second they get off that podium. the very second!, they act in ways that are 180 degrees opposed to what they just said one second earlier. How do these people live with themselves, I ask myself.

Problems at the VA predated President Obama’s Democrat administration, but as part of his 2008 election campaign, Obama vowed to fix the VA. Nothing much has changed for the better from previous President's administrations.

Our heroes have been suffering for DECADES at the hands of the unconcerned, incompetent,don't give a damn bureaucracy. I have written about this previously
(CLICK HERE) as a systemic, chronic crisis of long standing.

Conceivably, the VA should be the very best medical system in the country with the research that it can conduct, the research it should be able to conduct, with its membership rolls, and its ability to influence pricing nationwide, so that we do not see the current medical cost doubling every ten years,  phenomena rooted in greed, criminality, and the glaring absence of any one competent in charge. 

The death comes at the Department of Veterans Affairs remains under scrutiny for widespread reports of long delays for treatment, medical appointments and of veterans dying while on waiting lists.

To make matters worse, VA executives handed out fat performance bonuses to each other while these bureaucratic shenanigans were going on. 

On the subject of those bonuses, according to CNN, “78% of VA senior managers qualified for extra pay or other compensation in fiscal year 2013 by receiving ratings of ‘outstanding’ or ‘exceeds fully successful’…”

Also, a review last week cited 'significant and chronic system failures' in the nation's health system for veterans. 

Records of dead veterans were changed or physically altered, some even in recent weeks, to hide how many people died while waiting for care at the Phoenix VA hospital, a whistle-blower told CNN in stunning revelations that point to a new cover up in the ongoing VA scandal.

"Deceased" notes on files were removed to make statistics look better, so veterans would not be counted as having died while waiting for care, Pauline DeWenter said. ( CLICK HERE).

DeWenter should know. DeWenter is the actual scheduling clerk at the Phoenix VA who said for the better part of a year she was ordered by supervisors to manage and handle the so-called "secret waiting list," where veterans' names of those seeking medical care were often placed, sometimes left for months with no care at all.

The review also portrayed the struggling agency as one battling a corrosive culture of distrust, lacking in resources and ill-prepared to deal with an influx of new and older veterans with a range of medical and mental health care needs.

The scathing report by deputy White House chief of staff Rob Nabors said the Veterans Health Administration, the VA sub agency that provides health care to about 8.8 million veterans a year, has systematically ignored warnings about its deficiencies and must be fundamentally restructured.

Not only are Veterans forced to wait for ambulances, tens of thousands more veterans than previously reported are forced to wait at least a month for medical appointments at Veterans Affairs hospitals and clinics, according to an updated audit of 731 VA medical facilities released in June.

The unnecessary death adds more weight to the preponderance of seeming widespread obscene incompetence plaguing the nation’s largest health care system.

While not addressing it in today's blog, this is certainly also happening in the dysfunctional overall private medical system of voodoo health care that exists for the rest of the American population.

The VA system, and the overall private medical system in America is not just a tragic scene, it is a crime scene. 

ALL BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER

                               REST IN PEACE MOM

I thought of you with love today
but that is nothing new
 
I thought about you yesterday
and days before that too,
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name
 
All I have are memories
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake
with which I’ll never part
I have you in my heart.

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part. God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=24438I thought of you with love today

Today is the day that my Mother, Dorothy Wolkoff died on June 30th,1997. It was sudden and there was never a chance to say goodbye.

We only get one mother, the person who literally carried me inside of her for 9 months. My mom was the strongest, toughest, most courageous, gentle, caring person I have ever known.


Biology aside, mom's can be magical human beings. A mother's love is unlimited, it can heal us, make us feel safe, not to mention inspire us. My mother was all that and more. How lucky I am.

My mother was the only one who believed in me, particularly during my youth, and stubbornly never gave up, no matter how much I screwed up. She taught me much, but in particular, emphasized the importance of self pride, work/life ethics, compassion, caring, and being humble. 

In spite of her hard life, she provided for my sister and myself, by doing whatever was necessary for us to live, we never lacked for anything, because of her grueling unselfish efforts.

Without her support during my most difficult years as a youngster, a wild acting out teenager, she ALWAYS stood up to me, for me, guided me, and refused to give in, or give up on me. It was not easy for her to do that, but she would not back down, ever.

I told my mom in many different ways over the years how much this eventually contributed to my taking the correct productive path with my life, instead of continuing in the wrong direction,  ALL because of her. 

I spent much of my adult life making my mother proud of me, telling her how much I loved her.


My mother literally saved my life many times, she was one of a kind, I will always remember and love her for that. 

Whatever is good in me, came from my mother.
   
I miss you mom.

MY SON STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF

                    
                         SATURDAY, JUNE 21, 2014

                          

STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF


SEPTEMBER 23, 1977- JUNE 21, 2008


BELOVED SON, BROTHER,GRANDSON,
NEPHEW, COUSIN, CHERISHED LOVE
GOOD FRIEND


GENTLY THEY GO,
THE BEAUTIFUL,
THE TENDER, THE KIND


FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS

The Headstone in a Cemetery Never Lies.Today is the anniversary of the sixth year of an eternity in agony for all of us, marking the horrific day, June 21, 2008, that you, Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, were cruelly killed at the age of 30, your life brutally stolen from you, your family, friends, me. 

Steven died on the first day of Summer, it was 5 PM on a Saturday afternoon, same as today, exactly six years ago.

Oh how he loved the summer months and life itself. He was looking forward to it all, never realizing that his life would end that day in 2008 due to the negligence of others.

At some moments in time, I reach a point where there is nothing else to be said about the death of Steven.

Today is one of those moments. 

I posted the other pictures above of my son Steven because they are some of my favorite ones, and also he is so real, alive in them, and for a second, he seems to actually be here.

I cannot believe that my son Steven lies buried in a grave so young, me dreaming of things that he was and might have been. 

 

I never have said the traditional Mourners Kaddish prayer for Steven because it's words are meaningless to me. 

I have written my own Mourners Kaddish as a way to honor Steven, and I usually post it every year at this time, thereby testifying that Steven left behind worthy descendants, people who will always remember that he lived.

These sentences speak directly to Steven, because his pain and loss need to be honestly described in real words that accurately reflect my true feelings.              

STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF'S MOURNERS KADDISH

Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, Shmuel Nacham Ben Yaakov,  (Samuel Nathan, Son of Jerry).
                      
September 23, 1977- June 21, 2008

I am sorry that you are dead.

I am sorry you suffered so painfully, on that awful day, as you fought to stay alive.

I am sorry for the agony you felt, I see it in your eyes, face, and body from the horrific evidence photos.  I see and feel it in my endless nightmares. 

I am sorry for the fear, terror, unimaginable pain you felt in fighting for your life, as they killed you. I know the truth of your courage in being able to fight so bravely.

I am sorry for you because you were not killed by accident, but instead by the senseless, stupid, careless, actions of so many others who could have saved your life, but instead, each in their own way, miserably failed you that day, never realizing or even considering taking responsibility, or accountability for the consequences of their actions, inaction's, indifference, and incompetence.

I am sorry you died not due to fate, nor randomly, but were instead killed by the cascading chaos of connected, dysfunctional, defective entities and others, all who caused your preventable death. 

I am sorry that you died because of the 21 year old drug impaired driver speeding out of control into your car. His danger to you not in his thoughts, but mostly I think he just didn't care about the effects of his irresponsible actions.


I am sorry about the inept, licensed, qualified, medical first responders who had no idea, not a clue, of what they were doing medically to you as they killed you. They have no consciences and lied to hide how they murdered you in cold blood.

I am sorry for you, that so many corrupt, ugly cowards of evil,   who have evidence of the truth, but have no conscience to speak up, remain silent, lie, omit, refuse to come forward to admit their responsibility in covering up the true facts that all contributed to killing you.

I am sorry for those whose toxic evil allowed all of the above to be done to you and escaped from being held accountable for participating in your death.

I am sorry that your soul and body were desecrated in death.  

I am sorry for the wicked hideous ones who desecrated your body in death and refuse to take accountability for their violation of your body, your soul.

I am sorry that it has taken us five years to finally successfully legally force the spiteful, hateful San Mateo County Coroner to shortly release your final remains to us for proper burial.

I am sorry that you died in spite of the true facts that show you should be alive today.

I am sorry for all the multitude of evil ones who have tried to defame you and erase that you ever lived.

I am sorry that life is so cheap and yours has no value to those who killed you and try to erase you ever existed.

I am sorry that the Legal system is weak, corrupt and I have not been able to obtain real justice for you. I failed to accomplish getting Justice for you, please forgive me

I am sorry for my failing as your father to keep you from dying.

I am sorry you did not leave the beach one second earlier or later to return home that day of June, 21, 2008.

I am sorry that I was not there to protect you.

I am sorry that I was not there that day to comfort you, hold you, ease your pain.

I am sorry that I don't know the last thoughts in your mind before you died.

I am sorry that you died alone, with strangers, and no one even had the courage, kindness to hold your hand.

I am sorry that you died lying on a hot highway pavement, in a place unfamiliar, in the middle of nowhere.

I am sorry that no one had the decency to cover your right arm and both feet as you lay dead under the blue tarp.

I am sorry the Medvac trauma helicopter was delayed in arriving there by 4 minutes, too late to stop the killer first responders from touching you.

I am sorry that I was not even able to protect your dignity in death.

I am sorry you cannot cry.

I am sorry you cannot scream.

I am sorry you cannot laugh.

I am sorry you cannot smile.

I am sorry you cannot feel.

I am sorry you cannot talk.

I am sorry you cannot breathe.

I am sorry you are silent forever. 

I am sorry that the world said nothing, heard nothing, saw nothing about the injustices done to you.
 

I am sorry that it was you and not me.

I am sorry that I had to bury you and that you didn't bury me first, as it should be. 


I am sorry for everything that I forgot to say now, or cannot and did not say here.

I am sorry for YOU because you are not here, you are NO MORE on this earth.


I am sorry that you cannot rest in peace.

More than anything, I am sorry that you didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

Your family will always honor you, remember you, miss you, keep you in our heart, preserve your memory in lovingly telling future generations about you, and love you forever. We all miss you so very much.

Your brother, sister, mother, family, and others who love you, will do the same. We will never forget YOU, never stop loving you, our precious beloved Steven. NEVER.

Steven, I can only say, I am SORRY, SORRY, I am so SORRY. 
 
  -Amen. Love, Dad.