Sunday, January 13, 2013

AARON SWARTZ-ANOTHER VICTIM KILLED BY THE ARROGANCE OF THE LEGAL SYSTEM

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REST IN PEACE AARON SWARTZ


Look deep into the eyes of this amazing young man who believed in freedom of speech. He had the brain of a genius, money to sit on the beach doing nothing, yet he chose to fight for the rights of all to have free access to the Internet. His reward, was that the United States Government harassed him to the point that he killed himself at 26 young years of age.

Another victim, another disposable human life that our fraud of a democracy called the United States of Corruption has destroyed in the name of "justice". The cesspool of our disgusting legal system once again killing another innocent citizen and then hiding behind "the law". 

Open democracy advocate and Internet pioneer Aaron Swartz was found dead Friday in an apparent suicide, flooding the digital spectrum with an outpouring of grief. He was 26 years old.

Swartz spent the last two years fighting federal hacking charges. In July 2011, prosecutor Scott Garland working under U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz, a politician with her eye on the governor's mansion, charged Swartz with four counts of felony misconduct, charges that were deemed outrageous by internet experts who understood the case, and wholly unnecessary by the parties Swartz was accused of wronging.

Swartz repeatedly sought to reduce the charges to a level below felony status, but prosecutors pressed on, adding additional charges so that by September 2012 Swartz faced 13 felony counts and up to half a century in prison.

Swartz had long lived with depression and a host of physical ailments, which made his accomplishments that much more astonishing. Barely a teenager, he co-developed the RSS feed, before becoming one of the earliest minds behind Reddit.

Every human being has a breaking point. This man was harassed endlessly by the arrogance of the law through a legal system that is dysfunctional, corrupt, and broken. He cracked under the pressure of a potential 30 plus years of a jail sentence that was insane on the part of the govt.

 Rapists, murderers, child killers, corrupt Bankers are sentenced to much less than what was in store for him. This is unimaginable but true. How can this be???

His mistake was in believing that we live in a Democracy and that fighting back to keep our freedom is important for all of us. His beliefs are what brought the end of his life. Was he a coward for taking his own life, I think not. He was a brave man who finally gave up. A waste of a human life that held so much promise. RIP Aaron.

Late on Saturday, Swartz's family issued a statement mourning the loss of their loved one's "curiosity, creativity" and "commitment to social justice." They also put some of the blame for Swartz's death on federal prosecutors.

"Aaron’s death is not simply a personal tragedy," the statement reads. "It is the product of a criminal justice system rife with intimidation and prosecutorial overreach. Decisions made by officials in the Massachusetts U.S. Attorney’s office and at MIT contributed to his death. The US Attorney's office pursued an exceptionally harsh array of charges, carrying potentially over 30 years in prison, to punish an alleged crime that had no victims."

That sentiment was echoed by Harvard University Law School Professor Lawrence Lessig, a friend of Swartz, wrote a withering blog post attacking the Department of Justice for its misplaced zeal:

"We need a better sense of justice, and shame. For the outrageousness in this story is not just Aaron. It is also the absurdity of the prosecutor’s behavior," Lessig wrote. "[Aaron] was brilliant, and funny. A kid genius. A soul, a conscience, the source of a question I have asked myself a million times: What would Aaron think? That person is gone today, driven to the edge by what a decent society would only call bullying."

Swartz's friend Henry Farrell, a political scientist at George Washington University, also pointed at the DOJ. "His last two years were hard, thanks to the U.S. Department of Justice, which engaged in gross prosecutorial overreach on the basis of stretched interpretations of the law.They sought felony convictions with decades of prison time for actions which, if they were illegal at all, were at most misdemeanors. Aaron struggled sometimes with depression, but it would have been hard not to be depressed in his circumstances. As Larry Lessig has rightly said, this should be a cause for great shame and anger."

In the fall of 2010, Swartz downloaded millions of academic journal articles from the nonprofit online database JSTOR, which provides such articles free of charge to students and researchers. As a faculty member at Harvard University, Swartz had a JSTOR account, and downloaded the documents over the course of a few weeks from a library at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

JSTOR typically limits users to a few downloads at a time. Swartz's activities ultimately shut down JSTOR's servers briefly, and eventually resulted in MIT's library being blocked by JSTOR for a few days.

This was inconvenient for JSTOR and MIT, and a violation of JSTOR's Terms of Service agreement. Had JSTOR wanted to pursue civil charges against Swartz for breach of contract, it could have. But JSTOR did not, and washed its hands of the whole affair. In 2013, JSTOR made several million academic journals available to anyone, free of charge. Academic research is designed to be publicly accessible and is distinct from the research of private corporations, which assert aggressive intellectual property rights over activities they fund. Last June, Swartz told HuffPost that both JSTOR and MIT had advised prosecutors they were not interested in pursuing criminal or civil charges.

But the government pressed on, interpreting Swartz's actions as a federal crime, alleging mass theft, damaged computers and wire fraud, and suggesting that Swartz stood to gain financially. Federal prosecutors describe Swartz's downloading too quickly from a database to which JSTOR granted him and millions of other scholars free access as:

"Aaron Swartz devised a scheme to defraud JSTOR of a substantial number of journal articles which they had invested in collecting, obtaining the rights to distribute and digitizing," the indictment reads. "He sought to defraud MIT and JSTOR of rights and property." The prosecutors seem unaware that if an article is downloaded, the original copy remains with the owner.

The indictment also says that, "Swartz intended to distribute these articles through one or more file-sharing sites." JSTOR has just released 4.5 million articles to public this week.

The indictment does briefly acknowledge that Swartz had legal access to JSTOR's database. "Although Harvard provided access to JSTOR's services and archive as needed for his research, Swartz used MIT's computer networks to steal millions of articles from JSTOR." But the indictment does not note that Harvard and MIT have an explicit library sharing arrangement, granting scholars at one school access to many of the works and titles at the other. JSTOR has no specific academic allegiance. Its titles are available to all students at all universities at all times.

All 13 counts against Swartz rest on the idea that he stole or damaged JSTOR and MIT property.

The final count alleges that Swartz caused "reckless damage" to computer systems owned by JSTOR and MIT. While both JSTOR and MIT suffered interrupted service to JSTOR's archive as a result of Swartz's downloads, there was no permanent technical dysfunction.

The prosecution's case ultimately depended on whether or not breaking a Terms of Service agreement can be deemed a violation of the 1984 Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, the principal federal anti-hacking statute. While the law was designed to ban hackers from spreading viruses and stealing property, the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that such activity includes violating Terms of Service agreements.

The Seventh Circuit's decision was widely mocked by Internet experts, who noted that nearly anyone could become criminally liable for reading blogs if a blog owner simply set up an outrageous terms of service agreement.

In addition, a more recent decision by the Ninth Circuit rejected the Seventh Circuit's reasoning in 2010, and the Obama administration chose not to appeal the decision to the Supreme Court.

Although JSTOR opposed prosecuting Swartz, MIT did not speak out against the prosecution's case as aggressively as JSTOR did. Swartz's family criticized the school on Saturday for failing to intervene.

"Unlike JSTOR, MIT refused to stand up for Aaron and its own community’s most cherished principles," the statement reads.

The FBI had investigated Swartz prior to the JSTOR incident in 2009, when Swartz wrote a script mass-downloading many U.S. court documents held in the pricey PACER database. Although court documents are in the public domain, PACER charges a premium for collecting the documents and making them searchable. Swartz paid PACER for mass downloads, then sent the documents to another free database.

The FBI monitored Swartz and then concluded that because the documents were in the public domain, no charges could be filed. After receiving several phone calls from the FBI, Swartz submitted a Freedom of Information Act request for his own FBI file. The agency was legally compelled to comply with the request, and Swartz published the file on his own blog in 2009.

On Saturday, WikiLeaks tweeted about Swartz: "The brilliant Aaron Swartz (@aaronsw), long time WikiLeaks friend, age 26, is dead after two years of harrassment by US prosecutors."

Swartz was found dead in his New York apartment Friday after apparently hanging himself.

In addition to earning the ire of PACER, the FBI and the office of U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz, Swartz wrote the programming for RSS 1.0, an extremely common and useful computer tool. He helped start Reddit and also helped launch Creative Commons, a special intellectual property license allowing anyone to use creative work, provided it is not sold for profit.

He was the founder of the progressive political advocacy group Demand Progress, which was extremely active during the legislative battle over the Stop Online Piracy Act. He co-founded the Progressive Change Campaign Committee, though he has not worked with the organization in some time. More recently, he was working with Matt Stoller, a writer and former aide to Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.), on a longterm project aimed at ending the drug war.

"What people saw in public was a fearless advocate of open information, who was nonetheless realistic about the limits to what open information could do without radical political reform," Farrell said.

He added: "He shared the urgent concern of his friend, [MSNBC host] Chris Hayes, to address what economic inequality was doing to this country. What many, many people saw in private was his extraordinary generosity with both time and resources. He had made enough money from the sale of Reddit to Conde Nast to live without working for several years, as long as he was reasonably frugal. So what he did, was to spend his life trying to figure out ways in which he could be helpful to people and causes he liked. Since his death, I've heard an outpouring of stories from people whom he helped set up websites for, read and critiqued work and so on. He combined technological brilliance with enormous amounts of energy, and a real understanding of politics."

MIT is now Investigating School's Role In Aaron Swartz Suicide.The president of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology released a statement on Sunday about the suicide of Internet activist Aaron Swartz, announcing that the university will conduct an internal investigation into the school's role in Swartz's death.

"I want to express very clearly that I and all of us at MIT are extremely saddened by the death of this promising young man who touched the lives of so many. It pains me to think that MIT played any role in a series of events that have ended in tragedy," MIT president L. Rafael Reif said in the statement. "Now is a time for everyone involved to reflect on their actions, and that includes all of us at MIT."

Wonderful, how responsible of MIT to wake up now when they did nothing at all to help stop the violence done to this man. Big deal, crocodile tears, hollow words, MIT is now investigating their own failure to do anything to help him. Too little, too late, all bull shit as they had ample time during the past few years to lend their prestige, power to support him.

This is another horrible tragedy about the corruption of our governments justice system in perpetrating the victimization by our so called "democracy" whose "puppets in power" do the dirty work of their masters such as Corporations, special interest groups, and those who have $ to corrupt the values of a Democracy. They murder us, hide their evil deeds and get away with doing it, because they can.

We DO KNOW that Aaron had a great deal of courage to go up against the Government, Organizations, Company's that have prostituted themselves in the name of 'justice', copyright "infringement" of public material, on the very Internet that was born using taxpayers dollars so that it was intended to give free public access to many things that have now become pay to use.

It is a mark of great courage for a young man like Aaron to do battle in the real world against evil people that want to to take away our freedom. He paid the ultimate price of doing that by being crushed into a deep dark hole of hopelessness, facing a 30 plus year prison sentence, with very little support from the virtual community that we are all part of.

Focus on the tragic loss and courage that it took for this man to fight the good fight for all of us and say RIP Aaron, you deserved better.That we are sorry that you saw no other way out, because you felt that you were alone.











Saturday, January 5, 2013

HELP SIGN PETITION FOR JENNIFER MCNARY MOTHER OF MAX AND AUSTIN

UPDATED AUGUST 1, 2013-Jennifer McNary Mother of Max and Austin-CLICK HERE.


JANUARY 5, 2013

HELP SIGN PETITION FOR JENNIFER MCNARY MOTHER OF MAX AND AUSTIN

I received an e-mail below from Jennifer McNary Mother of Max and Austin. Please take a minute of your time and sign her worthy petition to the FDA. These are the "small" things that each of us can do to make a difference in the lives of others who need our help, in this case a simple signature in their support to keep her kids alive.

SIGN Jennifer's Petition by clicking on this sentence.

Both of my sons have the same debilitating disease  -- Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy -- that's kept them dependent on wheelchairs to get around. But now only one of my sons has access to a "miracle drug" that is saving his life.
Max was fortunate enough to take part in a study of a breakthrough medication, and now he can walk on his own for longer than he ever could. But Austin wasn't as lucky. 
Without access to this miracle drug, I watch Austin suffer silently as his brother thrives. The FDA has the power to make this drug available to kids like Austin by putting it through the "accelerated approval" program. It could otherwise take years for this important drug to be available to kids like Austin, denying him the same chance as his brother at a better and longer life.
Duchenne's is a disease that causes loss of muscle, to the point where children stop walking and eventually cannot breathe on their own. It is a slow death sentence with no effective treatment available. Watching Max make progress with this medication has been nothing short of a miracle, but bittersweet -- Austin grows steadily weaker with each passing day. 
Eteplirsen has helped one of my sons accomplish what I never believed possible. And this year, a law was passed that allows the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to expedite the approval of experimental medications that have been proven to work.
The company that produces Eteplirsen is going to officially ask the FDA soon for accelerated approval because of its miraculous trial results. I am doing everything I can to make sure the FDA knows how crucial this drug is to the survival of my sons. But they need to know that the public supports an accelerated approval process too -- and since they have the power to act, your signature will add the pressure they need to move quickly.
Thank you for your help.
Jennifer McNary
Mother of Max and Austin
Saxtons River, Vermont




Wednesday, December 26, 2012

GAHDAFI, SMELLY SOCKS, AND A CESSPOOL CONGRESS

It always seems like the health of our nations economy depends solely on the spending of dollars by the average consumer. This often raises the question in my mind as to where does Corporate America fit into this seemingly ludicrous, flawed formula.

One would think that Corporations, the Private Sector, Federal, State, Local governments should be essential parts of this equation that needs to invest heavily in America, whether it be through hiring American workers, locating customer/tech departments locally, buying, manufacturing their materials here, and contributing the overwhelming portion of financial support that determines whether our economic status is healthy. Somehow, they get a "free pass" by outsourcing everything possible, sitting on huge profits that are not invested here, never being held accountable to as an integral part of helping our economy grow and not being factored very much into keeping America alive.

Every year at this time I am reminded of the back assward way that experts judge how our economy is doing. It is called the "Holiday Shopping Season" and its success or failure is all determined by how much money regular folks spend, never taking into account the impact of all the other above entities that weigh heavily on whether our financial system can survive.

Especially this year, as the United States is creeping within days of falling off the so called "fiscal cliff", no one in any position of Authority appears to have the courage or even a "Boehner" fide interest in stopping this disaster from happening.

The Stores were packed, filled parking lots, online sales were so busy that on certain days there was so much Internet traffic that online capacity was tiny, reducing web surfing to a turtle crawl.

But the latest report of holiday sales reports this season is the worst since 2008 when we were deep in a recession.

Part of the blame can be attributed to the real potential of the Country going over the fiscal cliff, which apparently spooked enough shoppers to hold back.

Nobody knows how much money they'll get to keep in the coming year. One shopper stated that he seemed to be opening a lot of socks on Christmas. Although, have you noticed? Socks aren't a cheap gift anymore. They all have some sort of high-tech wicking system, special shock absorbing impact zones, patented open mesh ventilation technology, anti-bacterial odor suppression.

There are even now pairs of ultra high tech RFID socks pair of RFID (radio frequency identification) tagged Smarter Socks.The Swedish company behind them hopes to solve the perennial problem of odd socks.

Founder Samy Liechti describes them "as something the sock world has never seen before". Critics may argue that they are a little over-engineered.

Each sock comes with its own RFID chip, which can be "read" by a NFC (near field communication) device known as a sock sorter, which in turn communicates via Bluetooth with an iPhone.

As each pair has its own unique identifier, finding a lost pair amongst a pile of identical socks is as easier as scanning them with the sock sorter, and waiting until the iPhone app beeps to tell you it has located the exact match.

For those who really want to keep track of their socks, the app also produces a range of data checking how black they are, offering to replace worn-out socks and even finding a close match for socks whose partners have gone astray.
Smarter Socks which comes with one Sock Sorter and ten pairs of socks
But apparently even buying these socks aren't enough to juice the economy. So the President will be back in town tomorrow to see if he can get a budget deal done in the five days that remain.

I'm beginning to think it's going to have to take another shock like the stock market dropping 2,000 points to get them off the dime.

Pollster Frank Luntz reported on a just released survey that he completed that "I'm not sure if either side is watching very carefully or listening to what the American people think," said Luntz.

Still not listening. If they were listening they'd hear that people want a deal.

Seventy percent want rich people to pay higher taxes.
"But an even higher percent support significant spending cuts."

"I'm not sure if either side is watching very carefully, and listening to what the American people think," said Republican strategist and pollster Frank Luntz in an interview today with "CBS This Morning."

"When we asked the American people, Who is the GOP fighting for and representing? The number one answer, the rich. The number two answer, big business. Back in number three place is hard-working taxpayers. By the republicans fighting this tax increase on the most wealthy Americans, the public looks at that and says once again the GOP is standing up for the rich."

The Democrats, Luntz argued, have been equally tone deaf.
"What the Democrats don't understand is that the hostility towards how much Washington spends, that this whole discussion over the last six weeks has been about raising taxes on the wealthy rather than also  cutting wasteful Washington spending," he said.

So the polls say Americans want a compromise, and congress doesn't get it, which is why Congress's approval rating has now dropped to 11 percent.

How bad is that? Totally pathetic. Libya's Gahdaffi had a 15% job approval rating and that was among the people who killed him.

Well, if we do find ourselves lining up for soup at least we'll have warm socks, probably made in China.

Friday, December 21, 2012

TIME IT WAS, AND WHAT A TIME IT WAS

 




      REST IN PEACE STEVEN

Time it was, and what a time it was, 
it was A time of innocence, 
a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, 

I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, 

they're all that's left of you.


We had to let go of another piece of you this week Steven, but not a moment goes by that you are always remembered, missed and loved.

Monday, December 17, 2012

I AM ADAM LANZA'S MOM-DOES ANYONE CARE?

Just when you think that our society has sunk as low as it can go, something else even more unimaginable happens, and we discover once again that there are NO limits to the sickness of our world.

26 innocent human beings were murdered in cold blood at the Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newton, Connecticut. Horrifically, 20 of these victims are little children, between the ages of 6- 7 years old. Innocent little babies who have done nothing wrong to deserve their lives being snuffed out so very young, in a school room where they are supposedly safe and protected. They are  are executed for no reason at all by a deranged individual who planned this massacre with deliberate precision and detail.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ALL THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE MEMORY THAT THESE MURDERED VICTIMS MOSTLY SMALL CHILDREN HAVE NAMES. THEY LIVED AND NOW THEY ARE DEAD:

- Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/06, female- 6 years old
- Daniel Barden, 9/25/05, male- 7 years old
- Rachel Davino, 7/17/83, female-29 years old
 - Olivia Engel, 7/18/06, female-6 years old
- Josephine Gay, 12/11/05, female-7 years old
- Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 04/04/06, female-6 years old
- Dylan Hockley, 3/8/06, male-6 years old
- Dawn Hochsprung, 06/28/65, female-47 years old
- Madeleine F. Hsu, 7/10/06, female-6 years old
- Catherine V. Hubbard, 6/08/06, female-6 years old
- Chase Kowalski, 10/31/05, male-7 years old
- Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male-6 years old
- James Mattioli , 3/22/06, male-6 years old
- Grace McDonnell, 12/04/05, female-7 years old
- Anne Marie Murphy, 07/25/60, female- 52 years old
- Emilie Parker, 5/12/06, female-6 years old
- Jack Pinto, 5/06/06, male-6 years old
- Noah Pozner, 11/20/06, male-6 years old
- Caroline Previdi, 9/07/06, female-6 years old
- Jessica Rekos, 5/10/06, female-6 years old
- Avielle Richman, 10/17/06, female-6 years old
- Lauren Rousseau, 6/1982, female -31 years old
 - Mary Sherlach, 2/11/56, female-56 years old
- Victoria Soto, 11/04/85, female- 27 years old
- Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/06, male-6 years old
- Allison N. Wyatt, 7/03/06, female- 6 years old


                TEARS IN HEAVEN 


It is a parent's worst nightmare to lose a child of any age. Don't ever forget they we who have lost children are also victims as well as the surviving brothers, sisters, relatives of this nightmare that is all too real. 

There will never be closure for us and the pain will ache in our broken hearts forever. When the loss of our children happens by the unaccountable acts of others, we are even more traumatized, damaged, and destroyed. 

There is the inevitable response of a media circus, arguments about the politics of gun control, religions explaining away what has happened by talking about fantasy concepts of these new Angels in heaven, a time for healing, when in fact healing cannot ever come for those killed, nor their families, useless words to somehow try to make people feel better, and the quest for answers about how could this happen to defenseless little children, and their teachers.

The explanations, band aid solutions, all miss the point. Soon the forgetful memory of Americans will dissipate the tragedy of this and the true solutions never touched.

We are a nation obsessed with denial of "it can't happen to me, my children, my family" and so as usual nothing will change to prevent future massacres. 

The problem. You want to to know the problem? Begin with the hundreds of thousands people trapped in our culture with no humane solutions. It's not as simple as there being too easy access to buy guns, that by itself is not at the root of what is wrong.

As a Country we have consistently made it very clear that there is a huge disconnect between what is said and that which is actually done. Budget cuts in Federal/State governments have crippled an already impotent, dying under funded system of mental health agencies.

The new upcoming round of "balancing the deficit" spending cuts will be the next set of draconian "we can't afford' to help those in need death knell to the fragile, decaying framework of organizations that attempt to help the mentally ill.

All the phony hand wringing of what has happened in Connecticut to these children will be shot down by the reality that it costs a lot of  money to fix these problems. We always find this money to fight wars in foreign lands but never does it become available to spend it on saving our own vulnerable citizens.

But you say, we must provide an accessible system to address mental illness, just as we are striving for medical care for physical ills.  It's not going to happen, ever.

The stigma of mental illness is almost as strong as it was 30 years ago. Little has changed when it comes to the perception of people who suffer with emotional problems.

This in spite of the fact that mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 per cent of Americans ages 18 and older, about one in four persons, which translates well in excess of 60 million Americans, not even including those under the age of 18.

We are a Country that is full of shit when it talks about compassion, protecting little children, or helping to truly attack the problems that have consigned us to the lowest steps on the ladder of hell. 

It is tolerated that innocent people get murdered and now we have crossed over the line, it will be tolerated that precious little children are also murdered.

It is an ugly, ugly reality that only those who live with mental illness are left to fend for themselves because no one really cares about them or even wants to think about.

What is it like to live in fear that your child might hurt someone you, himself, or someone else?

Liza Long is afraid she has an inkling. In a powerful essay that's being shared across the Internet, this Boise, Idaho, courageous mom of four has the guts to talk about her life with a bright but disturbed teenage son.

I AM ADAM LANZA'S MOM 
BY Liza Long

Three days before 20-year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year-old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

"I can wear these pants," he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises."They are navy blue," I told him. "Your school's dress code says black or khaki pants only.""They told me I could wear these," he insisted. "You're a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!"

"You can't wear whatever pants you want to," I said, my tone affable, reasonable. "And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You're grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school."

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7- and 9-year-old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn't have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don't know what's wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He's been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood-altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he's in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He's in a good mood most of the time. But when he's not, watch out. And it's impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district's most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can't function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30 to 1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, "Look, Mom, I'm really sorry. Can I have video games back today?"
"
No way," I told him. "You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly."His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. "Then I'm going to kill myself," he said. "I'm going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself."

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

"Where are you taking me?" he said, suddenly worried. "Where are we going?""You know where we are going," I replied."No! You can't do that to me! You're sending me to hell! You're sending me straight to hell!"

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. "Call the police," I said. "Hurry."

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn't escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I'm still stronger than he is, but I won't be for much longer.

The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork—"Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…"

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You'll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying—that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, "I hate you. And I'm going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here."

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I've heard those promises for years. I don't believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, "What are your expectations for treatment?" I wrote, "I need help."
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am Jason Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son's social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. "If he's back in the system, they'll create a paper trail," he said. "That's the only way you're ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you've got charges."

I don't believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael's sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn't deal with the underlying pathology. 

But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise—in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill. Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation's largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year-old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, "Something must be done."


I agree that something must be done. It's time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. 

That's the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

Monday, November 26, 2012

TRUST ME ON THE SUNSCREEN


Ladies and gentlemen, wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
 

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

 

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will never understand the power
And the beauty of your youth until they've faded
But trust me, in twenty years
You will look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you
And how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine

 

Don't worry about the future or worry that worrying
Is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation
By chewing bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
That never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday

 

Do one thing every day that scares you, sing
 

Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours, 


floss
 

Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself

 

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
 

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements, stretch
 

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life
The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
 

Get plenty of calcium
 

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone
 

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the "Funky Chicken"
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's

 

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own, dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
 

Read the directions even if you don't follow them
 

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
 

Brother and sister together will make it through
 

Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I can

 

Get to know your parents, your loved ones, you never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
 

Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get, the more you need the people
You knew when you were young
 

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft

 

Travel, accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old
And when you do, you'll fanaticise that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders

Respect your elders, don't expect anyone else to support you
 

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you'll never know when either one will run out
 

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're forty
It will look eighty-five
 

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
Wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off
Painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it's worth
 

But trust me on the sunscreen   

Oh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I can

Sunday, November 18, 2012

TWINKIE TWINKIE GOTTA HAVE A TWINKIE!

While there are multiple major horrible events taking place daily all over the world, people dying of famine, war, injustices of every type, there is one event that has gripped Americans, overshadowed the other misery happening to human beings. 

It says a great deal about American citizenry and their ability to become unusually proactive when it comes to recognizing their own survival is at stake if they don't get involved with what many perceive as the most important event in decades that will affect their lives.

Yes, I am talking panic in the streets kind of involvement, awareness that knows no bounds. Americans have learned that Hostess Brands, Inc. is going out of business and is liquidating its business after striking workers with the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union didn't return to normal work levels as the company management had demanded. 

Panic in America in the past few days has resulted in a stampede of citizens who know what is essential to their lives as they cleaned out the food stores and bakeries yesterday of all Hostess products.

Do Americans really care about the 18,500 workers who will lose their jobs at Hostess? Nope, not much, this is really about the personal munchies, cravings on the level of a crack addict cut off from their supply, a heroin addict facing cold turkey. This is about life altering, diabetic causing, cardboard tasting artificial flavored little cakes of fat that people must have or they will surely die.

Screw hurricanes, wars, fiscal cliffs, rapists, murderers, politicians, homeless, poor people, climate change, or anything else that may get in their way of prioritizing this Twinky, Hostess cakes holy grail of life.
 
Good-bye Yodels.
 

Good-bye Twinkies.
 

Good-bye Ho Hos.

Good-bye Ding Dongs.
 

Good-bye Sno Balls.
 

Good-bye my favorite Wonder Bread that "helps build strong bodies 12 ways," according to the advertising slogan for the brand of soft, white bread introduced in 1921,the 12 ways referring to 12 nutrients the owners of the company thought were worth talking about.

Oh if only Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan had known the real push button issue on the minds of Americans, its not the economy, stupid, it's sugar, Twinkies, cake. 

Mitt could have used his Bain Capital Company to take over Hostess and bought the votes of fellow Americans by with the slogan "vote for me and I promise you a free carton of Twinkies and other Hostess cakes in every American's home". 

His dreams to be in the White House would have come true by buying the votes of the Twinkie junkies in scoring a mere hand full, perhaps, a box, or even a carton. 

Mitt had failed to follow his history lessons in which"Upon being informed that the citizens of France had no bread to eat, Marie Antoinette, Queen of Louis XVI of France, exclaimed "let them eat cake".

Although she was eventually beheaded when the people of France revolted, no such fate would have befallen Mitt and the GOP here in a strung out America, if only he could get a do over, the poor guy, it was that easy.

Twinkie addiction is formed in early childhood by habit, as parents introduced preschool children to the sugary cakes, and it affects several generations since early childhood. It's the white flour, sugar, and marshmallow cream filling that makes people come back for more. The flavor of the sugar makes the brain light up with hormones that eventually develop into a habit, a familiarity, if not a craving to come back for more and more of it. 

See the You Tube video, Howdy Doody Hostess Twinkies Commercial 1950s. Four generations of Twinkie eaters has had this type of brand loyalty so much so that some supermarket's own brand of cakes similar to Twinkie's were left on the shelf this week at numerous supermarkets.

The flavor of the sugar makes the brain light up with hormones that eventually develop into a habit, a familiarity, an addiction. See, Myth of the 'Twinkie defense', Behind the Twinkie Defense, Truthdig, and What Is the 'Twinkie Defense'?, Legislation and Policymaking.

Want a recipe for marshmallow cream filling or a new income producer by setting up your own twinkie cake meth type home lab then try Marshmallow Cream Filling Recipes, Yummly, Cream Filling for Cupcakes, Baking and Cooking Blog, or "DIY: How to make your own Twinkies.

A lot of dentists for several generations made plenty of money as a result of children wolfing down plenty of Twinkies and changing the ratio of calcium to phosphorous in their bloodstream from eating all that sugar and white flour. 

French doctor, Serge Ahmed, of Bordeaux, has been working with rats and giving them the choice between cocaine and sugar. Guess what wins, time and again? Sugar. Sugar produces dopamine in the brain which in turn makes kids feel good for a few minutes. For some true sugar addicts, they need this to feel better. When kids and parents eat sugar, they feel good for a few minutes until the insulin surges kick in. When the happy feeling wears off, they need more. Eventually when sugar is cut out of the diet, human brains will begin to produce dopamine on their own, but who has the time to wait for that to happen. 

Most snacks such as cream-filled cakes that parents buy for themselves and their kids is high in refined sugar and simple carbohydrates. But soon withdrawal symptoms kick in. This keeps many sugar addicts trapped in their addiction to processed cakes made with white flour and sugar or even bread coated with jam and a fatty substance such as cream or butter. 

The sweet taste of sugar is more rewarding than the high of cocaine to some people. That's what makes people come back to buy and eat more foods made with sugar, especially heightened when mixed with white flour, as in a cake with a sweet filling that tastes creamy or even fatty. Some parents even give kids processed sweet foods to get them to behave or even quiet down. But the reaction often is craving and crashing.

Kids grew up eating Twinkies instead of fresh fruit. Familiarity doesn't breed contempt when it comes to sweet foods. Instead familiarity breeds habit, and habit breeds tradition to come back for more. Americans were introduced in early childhood not only to Twinkies but also to Ho-Hos and Sno-Balls. Most kids whose parents aren't nutrition and natural foods enthusiasts grew up with Twinkies. 

Many are young and some are over age 65 and grew up in the 1950s and early 1960s when processed foods dominated the TV ads, as today, a time when sugary foods were advertised on children's TV shows such as the Saturday morning cartoons. The parents and grandparents passed on the Twinkie habit to their own children, and they passed on the Twinkies as soon as the kids could eat solid food, in turn to the next generation of Twinkie addicts.

By Saturday afternoon, online seller eBay was hosting more than 17,000 active listings for Twinkies. Bids and prices varied wildly." Amazingly, one seller's listing asked for $10 million for a box of 10 Twinkies. Since there were no takers by Saturday night, it didn't matter much that the seller promised to deliver the box of Twinkies in a van that displays the buyer's company logo, with $1 million to be donated in the buyer's name to a charity of the buyer's choosing. 

But what about another day, when those addicted to Twinkies so much will pay big money for their sweet fix, to satisfy the monkey on their back type of addiction for marshmallow creme.

If the federal government can bail out the banking and auto industries, why can’t it do the same for Twinkies.

Over at White House.gov, more than 350 hardworking Americans have already taken time out of all that working hard to put their name to a petition asking President Obama to nationalize the Twinkie industry and “prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.”

So if you believe that Twinkies are too sweet to fail, feel free to put your name on the petition.

There's a box of Twinkies. Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, there will be none left, as time does not age these cakes well.

I am holding out hope for those afflicted that some other company sees the profit value in Twinkies (and Ho Ho’s, and maybe even Drake’s Cakes) and saves the government from having to answer years of questions about how it let the U.S. slip farther back in the international snack cake race.

In the meantime, sites like Hoard The Hostess are already documenting today’s disastrous news. You can go here and mourn, sniff, get an online high off of the photos.

The video clip below from Ghostbusters sums it all up, because in the words of the great Winston Zeddemore, “That’s one big Twinkie.”