Monday, September 23, 2024

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY-STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF

 

  




ANOTHER BIRTHDAY


My older son Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff would have been 47 years old today.

What can a parent say on the birthday of their dead child?

A living child asks for a birthday party. 

As they become older, you, as the parent, ask them what they want for their birthday. There’s dialogue. 

It’s tradition to remember your child's birthday, to not do so ignores that they lived.
But what exactly is a parent supposed to do on the birthday of their child when he is gone?

Not gone, as in out of town or at the beach, or out of the country. Gone as in, no longer alive.
A dead child doesn’t want. 

A dead son asks for nothing.
What does a mom or dad and siblings do?

Where’s the rule book for recognizing birthdays of a dead child?

Steven was born on the first day of Fall and died on the first day of Summer. 
There is something odd to me about the the significance of the equinox and solstice in his life and its parallel meaning to the Earth. 

If the autumnal equinox represents balance, then the summer solstice was most certainly the day we felt our world come to a deafening halt on the longest day of the year.

Steven lies dead in a grave because of the negligence and indifference of those who killed him, stole his life at the age of 30, and have tried to erase that he ever lived.

I mourn what was, what could of been, and what will never be.

You deserved so much better my son, it just wasn't meant to be. 


Love, Dad 

Sunday, September 1, 2024

HERSH GOLDBERG PALIN -23, ORI DANINO- 25; EDEN YERUSHALMI 24; ALMOG SARUSI-27,ALEXANDER LOBANOV-33 AND CARMEL GAT-40. ;


These are the 6 innocent Israeli hostages brutally shot to death by hamas terrorists just minutes before the Israeli Special Forces arrived to rescue them. These innocent young victims were alive and didn’t need to be murdered.They all deserved better from life and now they will never have the chance to fufill their dreams. 

Terrorists seized AMERICAN/ISRAELI Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, and four of the other hostages at a music festival in southern Israel during hamas’ Oct. 7 attack, which triggered the war. The native of Berkeley, California, lost part of his left arm to a grenade in the attack. In April, a Hamas-issued video showed him, his left hand missing and clearly speaking under duress, sparking new protests in Israel urging the government to do more to secure his and others’ freedom.

The army identified the other hostages as Ori Danino, 25; Eden Yerushalmi, 24; Almog Sarusi, 27; and Alexander Lobanov, 33; who were also taken from the music festival. The sixth, Carmel Gat, 40, was abducted from the nearby farming community of Be’eri.

It said the bodies were recovered from a tunnel in the southern Gaza city of Rafah, around a kilometer (0.6 mile) from where another hostage, Qaid Farhan Alkadi, 52, was rescued alive last week.

Rest in peace if you can and my deepest sadness to you and your families, loved ones. All of you deserved so much better from life. Your dreams and aspirations hav been taken from you by monsters who are evil and belong in the deepest,darkest ,hottest part of hell. 

You were slaughtered simply because your Jewish and that is part of Never AGAIN IS NOW ONCE AGAIN BECOME THE HATRED OF JEWISH PEOPLE. We will never forgive and will avenge your deaths. 

May the 6 hostages Rest In Peace, if you can. My deepest sympathy for your loved ones. 



Monday, August 19, 2024

I WANTED TO HUG HER- THE GIRL FRIEND OF ELIYA COHEN, AN ISRAELI HOSTAGE


This young woman is bringing awareness in the most heart wrenching way, to her boyfriend
ELIYA COHEN an Israeli hostage being held in gaza.

I wish I can give her a hug.


Sunday, August 18, 2024

VICTIMS OF FETANYL AND A COMPLICIT MEXICAN GOVERNMENT

I along with others have often wondered how the Drug Cartels operate so violently and freely in Mexico. My suspicion has always been that the Mexican government is corrupt and their leaders are sharing in the huge $ profits they receive from the Cartels.

 Read on and understand how it deeply affects our Country, our people, and should be (but is not) a major issue being addressed by most of our politicians, many who are “too busy” controlling: women’s bodies, transgender people, banning books, suppressing voting rights, and so much more. 

It has everything to do with the one of the most dangerous health issues facing our country and needs to be addressed, not ignored because it’s “not a political issue .”

I dare say that you the reader or someone you knew have lost loved ones or know others who have been affected by this tragic uncontrolled epidemic sweeping our nation.


You may want to know that the CDC has reported that for the first time in U.S. history, fatal documented fentanyl overdoses peaked above 112,000 (the actual number is likely much greater) deaths last year, with young people and people of color among the hardest hit.

For Americans age 18-45, the leading cause of death is fentanyl overdose. 

Drug cartels and drug dealers may also mix fentanyl with other drugs such as heroin, cocaine, meth, and MDMA, even put it in counterfeit drugs such as Adderall, Xanax, Valium , etc. to increase the drugs’ effects — sometimes without the user’s knowledge.

The DEA found that while 70% to 80% of fentanyl that they seize had come from China, Mexico is now the "dominant source" of fentanyl in the US.

You may want to know why Mexico has never stopped the thriving drug cartels that have basically taken over their Country and why many of its people live in constant fear for their lives, besides it killing so many of our own citizens.

Why has all the never ending murderous violence connected to these ruthless Cartels never stopped?

These are the same Mexican drug cartels who are the major supplier of the deadly opioid Fentanyl which is a powerful synthetic opioid that is similar to morphine but is 50 to 100 times more potent.

Drug policy experts, and people living with addiction, say the magnitude of this calamity now eclipses fatal overdoses by every previous drug epidemic from crack, cocaine in U.S. history.

Please take the time to read the article below so that you understand the truth of how none of this could be happening without the Mexican government “ looking the other way.”

Read on for the ugly truth;

 MEXICO CITY, MEXICO BY MARK STEVENSON-August 16, 2024(AP) — "It was strange and surprising when Mexico’s most-wanted drug lord landed at an airfield near El Paso, Texas in July, but the story of how he got there is now growing into a scandal that threatens top figures in Mexico’s ruling party.

At issue is whether Rubén Rocha — the governor of the cartel-dominated state of Sinaloa and a close ally of the president — may have held meetings with top leaders of the Sinaloa cartel, the main producer of deadly fentanyl that kills 70,000 Americans per year.

The saga involves skullduggery worthy of a 1940s film noir, but it threatens to undermine President Andrés Manuel López Obrador’s central assertion that, while he refuses to confront Mexico’s drug cartels, he also makes no deals with them.

On Thursday, federal prosecutors said Sinaloa state officials mishandled evidence in an apparent attempt to cover up the July 25 murder of Héctor Cuén, a politician who allegedly helped lure drug lord Ismael “El Mayo” Zambada to a meeting where he expected to find Gov. Rocha. Instead, Zambada was abducted by another drug lord and flown to the United States, where he was arrested.

Zambada said in a letter released by his lawyer that Cuén was murdered at the house where the abduction took place. Gov. Rocha has maintained Cuén was killed by gunmen in a botched robbery at a gasoline station later that day, and he even provided security camera footage of the alleged attacks.

But federal prosecutors quickly noted something was wrong: post-mortem records showed Cuén’s body had four gunshot wounds, while only one gunshot can be heard on the security camera footage, and gas station employees said they didn’t hear any.

And the feds said Sinaloa officials violated all murder investigation rules by allowing Cuén’s body to be cremated. Gov. Rocha denies planning any meeting with Zambada, but in the rest of the dispute over the events of that day, the drug lord’s version now appears more credible. The Sinaloa state chief prosecutor resigned on Friday.

It appears that what they did in Sinaloa was, as they do frequently, to cover up the crime,” said Mexican security analyst David Saucedo.

López Obrador acknowledged Friday that “there have been contradictions in the case from the very start,” and promised to get to the bottom of it. Federal prosecutors have taken over the case and the president said “the Attorney General’s Office is showing that there are things that don’t add up.”

Gov. Rocha has been a sort of point-man for López Obrador’s “hugs not bullets” policy of not confronting drug cartels; his state is home to Mexico’s most powerful gang.

The governor has accompanied the president on his most controversial trips: the half-dozen visits the president has made to Badiraguato, Sinaloa, the hometown of imprisoned drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán.

At one point, Lopez Obrador even stopped to chat with Guzmán’s now-deceased mother. Badiraguato is also where Gov. Rocha was born.

The Mexican president’s drug policy is based on a series of unwieldy propositions: it’s no use arresting drug lords, because new ones will pop up. López Obrador claims high-profile cartel arrests were a policy forced on Mexico by the United States; refusing to continue them is a victory for national sovereignty.

The president claims Mexican cartels don’t manufacture fentanyl (they do, and top officials in Mexico have admitted as much), and that American social problems, not Mexican cartels, are responsible for the fentanyl crisis.

López Obrador says drug cartels are essentially “respectful people” who “respect the citizenry” and mostly just kill each other. The only solution to Mexico’s dizzyingly high murder rate, he says, is to use job-training programs to drain the pool of potential drug cartel recruits.

The president claims Mexican cartels don’t manufacture fentanyl (they do, and top officials in Mexico have admitted as much), and that American social problems, not Mexican cartels, are responsible for the fentanyl crisis.

López Obrador says drug cartels are essentially “respectful people” who “respect the citizenry” and mostly just kill each other. The only solution to Mexico’s dizzyingly high murder rate, he says, is to use job-training programs to drain the pool of potential drug cartel recruits.

All those assertions rest on one central proposition that now appears in doubt: that while the government doesn’t attack cartels, it also doesn’t make deals with them. While nobody has presented any credible evidence that the president has met with drug lords, analysts say Gov. Rocha, a member of the president’s Morena party, did.

“It isn’t a suspicion any more, it’s a certainty,” said Saucedo. “What has become clear is that what the government has is intermediaries who negotiate with the Sinaloa cartel.” Rocha has denied meeting or dealing with drug lords.

Saucedo notes it would not be the first time that Mexican governors or their relatives have met with drug lords — one was caught on video tape doing so in 2014.

Zambada’s arrest in late July, along with El Chapo’s son, Joaquín Guzmán López, was embarrassing for Mexico from the start, because the Mexican government wasn’t even aware of it.

But it was Zambada’s later account of how he was duped by the younger Guzmán — who always intended to turn himself in to U.S. authorities and apparently took along Zambada, who had a $15 million bounty on his head, as a prize — that has set Mexico’s political establishment trembling.

Zambada has said that Guzmán, who he trusted, had invited him to the meeting to help iron out the fierce political rivalry between Cuén and Gov. Rocha. Zambada was known for eluding capture for decades because of his incredibly tight, loyal and sophisticated personal security apparatus.

The fact that he would knowingly leave that all behind to meet with Gov. Rocha means that Zambada viewed such a meeting as credible and feasible. Ditto the idea that Zambada, as the leader of the oldest wing of the Sinaloa cartel, could act as an arbiter in the state’s political disputes.

Gov. Rocha has denied he knew of or attended the meeting where Zambada was abducted. In an odd piece of political theater, Rocha published the flight plan of a plane that he said took him out of the state that day on a family vacation, and even published a video that day carefully explaining that “I am not in the state.”

But in the central dispute about what happened that day, Zambada’s version appears to be more credible.

“It appears to me that El Mayo Zambada’s version is totally more credible,” said Saucedo. “It all adds up.”

https://apnews.com/article/mexico-president-sinaloa-cartel-scandal-mayo-zambada-45d2c8b8b90d9640aa7092357bd21622#









Sunday, June 30, 2024

MOM-DOROTHY WOLKOFF

 

  



I thought of you with love today
but that is nothing new

I thought about you yesterday
and days before that too,
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name

All I have are memories
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake
with which I’ll never part
I have you in my heart.

Hug me strongly, and carry me home
Dear Mom, one more kiss again

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part. God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=24438I thought of you with love today
Today is the day that my Mother, Dorothy Wolkoff died on June 30th,1997. It was sudden and there was never a chance to say goodbye.
 
My mom was the strongest, toughest, most courageous, gentle, caring person I have ever known. 

Biology aside, mom's can be magical human beings. A mother's love is unlimited, it can heal us, make us feel safe, and inspire us. My mother was all that and more. How lucky I am.

She taught me much, but in particular, emphasized the importance of self pride, work/life ethics, compassion, caring, and being humble. 

In spite of her hard life, she provided for my sister and myself, by doing whatever was necessary for us to live, we never lacked for anything because of her grueling unselfish efforts. 

My mother was the only one who believed in me, particularly during my youth, and stubbornly never gave up, no matter how much I screwed up. 

Without her support during my most difficult years as a youngster, a wild acting out teenager, she ALWAYS stood up to me, for me, guided me, and refused to give in, or give up on me. It was not easy for her to do that, but she would not back down, ever.

My mother literally saved my life many times, she was one of a kind, I will always remember and love her for that. 
I told my mom in many different ways over the years how much she eventually contributed to my taking the correct productive path with my life all because of her. 

I spent much of my adult life making my mother proud of me, telling her how much I loved her. 

Whatever is good in me, came from my mother. 

I love and miss you mom.

Friday, June 21, 2024

STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF-SEPTEMBER 23, 1977- JUNE 21, 2008


 

                                                     








Also - CLICK ON HERE & LISTEN TO AN ORIGINAL INSTRUMENTAL WRITTEN & COMPOSED IN MEMORY OF STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF, CALLED "STEVEN'S SONG"

This composition is a quiet and moving work and is meant to serve as a tribute to the life of Steven Wolkoff. It makes use of simple but haunting harmonies and a melody that will stay with the listener long after its final notes have finished sounding. 

SEPTEMBER 23, 1977- JUNE 21, 2008
BELOVED SON, BROTHER,GRANDSON,
NEPHEW, COUSIN, CHERISHED LOVE
GOOD FRIEND

GENTLY THEY GO,
THE BEAUTIFUL,
THE TENDER, THE KIND

FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS


Friday, June 21, 2024

Today is the anniversary of the 16th year of an eternity in agony, marking the horrific day, June 21, 2008, that my oldest child, Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, was cruelly killed at the age of 30, his life brutally stolen from him, family, friends, me. (CLICK ON HERE FOR STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF MEMORIAL PAGE).

I dread the coming of this day every year.

Steven died on the first day of Summer, it was 5 PM on a Saturday afternoon, exactly 16 years ago.

It seems so much longer than 16 years have gone by since we lost him. 

I still feel that it cannot be true, somehow suddenly he will appear, call me on the phone, or send me an email. That feeling never leaves, it is always there, I will wake up from this nightmare, and Steven will be here, alive.

There are mornings that I wake up believing for a few seconds that Steven is alive and it was just a horrible nightmare that he is dead. Then the reality strikes me full force in the face and gut, that he is dead forever, how can that be?

Oh how he loved the summer months and life itself. He was looking forward to it all, never realizing that his life would end that day in 2008.

I posted the other pictures above of Steven because they are some of my favorite ones, and also he is so real, alive in them, and for a second, he seems to actually be here.

Today, on this 16th anniversary of Steven's tragic death, if you can, please take a moment now to remember who Steven was and how deeply he is missed by each of us.

The last time I spoke to Steven, was on the phone,Tuesday evening, June 17 , 2008.

I didn't know that moment was going to be our last.
The last time I would talk to you, and hear your beautiful voice.

The last time I would tell you that I loved you, and hear you say “I love you too dad”. Strong and so real, so vibrant and alive.

A smiling face, with twinkling eyes, your special smile, my fine young man, my oldest child.

The shattered remnant of my heart with holes so black and fathomless no light can ever fill. I am and will be in shock forever.

Time has passed before me, so bleak and dark and long, the wind that whispers through the trees, the brightest star at night, the rain on a dismal day, my endless dreams, nightmares, the constant thoughts, hearing the door bell ringing, seeing the 2 Nassau County Policeman at my door at 4 AM asking me politely if they could come inside, no eye contact from them.

I knew and asked them "which one of my children", their response "do you have a son Steven living in San Francisco, he was killed in a car collision". 

That moment is frozen in my mind, repeating itself endlessly almost every waking and sleeping moment of my life.

The tragic death of Steven was caused by stupid, senseless acts. Every day, each night, my mind is focused on the highway at the collision, looking at the photos of Steven’s face while he is alive on a stretcher placed on the highway and then later, he is dead, covered by a tarp on that same highway.

The collision seems less a random act, and more determined, by a series of factors, not so benign, each one a contributing cause of my son’s death.

Steven was killed not by accident, but by horribly connected actions, and inaction's, of many others, each building on the impact of the other. Steven’s death began when distinct acts of design and error grew to become the chaos of negligence.

Steven was killed by the lack of highway signage, a secret California State cover up of a structurally flawed highway design known as a "death trap", whose design errors were deliberately never corrected,violating the written safety codes of the  same government department responsible for building the highway, and the carelessness of a local community program, having a gathering, unaware that their visitors, were parking, turning, merging, clogging this already too narrow stretch of road that had no separate turning lanes.

Steven was killed by a 21 year old drug impaired driver, who did not even have a driver’s license, an illegal alien. His danger to others not in his thoughts, but mostly I think he just didn't care about the effects of his irresponsible actions on Steven.

Steven was killed by an army of first responders, Paramedics, Emergency Medical Technicians, Police, Firefighters, and Park Rangers, etc., busy littering the highway with equipment, while they tried to look busy and important.

Steven courageously lived for about an hour after the collision while multiple systems of rescue professionals failed to get him to the hospital, and were unable to properly provide a minimum standard of the medical skills that they were trained to perform.

The first responders panicked, although Steven was breathing on his own, they performed an unnecessary medical procedure that they had never before done in their life. It is called a Needle Cricothyroidotomy which they failed to do properly and in doing this they missed his airway, suffocating him, vital oxygen crushing against his heart, lungs and diaphragm, taking his breath away, and horrifically killing him.

The responder’s mission, to keep Steven medically stabilized for triage care at the Hospital, failed, lost in a few hundred square feet of disorder, with no one in charge, no one leading, standing, telling, helping, shouting, or recognizing the obvious signs of their medical errors.

My son Steven was killed by carelessness, thoughtlessness, and negligence on the part of multiple entities and individuals.

A gifted, talented, precious, irreplaceable, meaningful life was stolen from all of us who loved him deeply, because of the actions of so many who, each in their own way, miserably failed to help Steven, all destroying Steven’s life.

I cannot believe that my son Steven lies buried in a grave so young, me dreaming of things that he was and might have been. 
  
I am not religious, nor do I believe in god, so the traditional Mourners Kaddish prayer for Steven are meaningless words to me. 

I have written my own Mourners Kaddish as a way to honor Steven, and I post it every year at this time.

It is my way of expressing that Steven left behind a legacy of goodness, and worthy descendants, those who loved him, who will always remember that he lived.

These sentences speak directly to Steven, because his pain and loss need to be honestly described in real words that accurately reflect my true feelings.               

STEVEN NATHANIEL WOLKOFF'S MOURNERS KADDISH

Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff, Shmuel Nacham Ben Yaakov,  (Samuel Nathan, Son of Jerry).
                      
September 23, 1977- June 21, 2008

I am sorry that you are dead.

I am sorry you suffered so painfully, on that awful day, as you fought to stay alive.

I am sorry for the agony you felt, I see it in your eyes, face, and body from the horrific evidence photos.  I see and feel it in my endless nightmares.

I am sorry for the fear, terror, unimaginable pain you felt in fighting for your life, as they killed you. I know the truth of your courage in being able to fight so bravely to stay alive.

I am sorry for you because you were not killed by accident, but instead by the senseless, stupid, careless, actions of so many others who could have saved your life, but instead, each in their own way, miserably failed you that day, never realizing or even considering taking responsibility, or accountability for the consequences of their actions, inaction's, indifference, and incompetence.

I am sorry you died not due to fate, nor randomly, but were instead killed by the cascading chaos of connected, dysfunctional, defective entities and others, all who caused your preventable death.

I am sorry that you died because the State of California did not care about your life and decided not to fix a dangerously unsafe road, instead they deliberately hid the structural defects in the highway that made it into a death trap.

I am sorry that you died because of the 21 year old drug impaired driver speeding out of control into your car. His danger to you not in his thoughts, but mostly I think he just didn't care about the effects of his irresponsible actions.

I am sorry about the inept, licensed, qualified, medical first responders who had no idea, not a clue, of what they were doing medically to you as they killed you. They have no consciences and lied afterward to hide how they murdered you in cold blood.

I am sorry for you, that so many corrupt, ugly cowards of evil, who have evidence of the truth, but have no conscience to speak up, remain silent, lie, omit, refuse to come forward to admit their responsibility in covering up the true facts that all contributed to killing you.

I am sorry for those whose toxic evil allowed all of the above to be done to you and escaped from being held accountable for participating in your death.

I am sorry that your soul and body were desecrated in death.   

I am sorry for the wicked hideous ones who desecrated your body in death and refuse to take accountability for their violation of your body, your soul.

I am sorry that it has took us five years to finally successfully legally force the spiteful, hateful,evil San Mateo County Coroner to release your final remains for proper burial.

I am sorry that you died in spite of the true medical facts that show you should be alive today.

I am sorry for all the multitude of evil ones who have tried to defame you and disrespect your name, your life.

I am sorry that life is so cheap and yours has no value to those who killed you, trying to erase you ever existed.

I am sorry that the Legal system is weak, corrupt and I was not able to obtain justice for you. I failed to accomplish getting that Justice for you, please forgive me.

I am sorry for my failing as your father to keep you from dying.

I am sorry you did not leave the beach one second earlier or later to return home that day of June, 21, 2008.

I am sorry that I was not there to protect you.

I am sorry that I was not there that day to comfort you, hold you, ease your pain.

I am sorry that I don't know the last thoughts in your mind before you died.

I am sorry that you died alone, with strangers, and no one even had the courage, kindness to hold your hand.

I am sorry that you died lying on a hot highway pavement, in a place unfamiliar, in the middle of nowhere.

I am sorry that no one had the decency to cover your right arm and both feet, as you lay dead under the blue tarp.

I am sorry the Medvac trauma helicopter was delayed in arriving there by 4 minutes, too late to stop the killer first responders from touching you.

I am sorry that I was not even able to protect your dignity in death.

I am sorry you cannot cry.

I am sorry you cannot scream.

I am sorry you cannot laugh.

I am sorry you cannot smile.

I am sorry you cannot feel.

I am sorry you cannot talk.

I am sorry you cannot breathe.

I am sorry you are silent forever. 

I am sorry that the world said nothing, heard nothing, says nothing about the injustices done to you.
  
I am sorry that it was you and not me.

I am sorry that I had to bury you and that you didn't bury me first, as it should be.  

I am sorry for everything that I forgot to say now, or cannot, and did not say here.

I am sorry for YOU because you are not here, you are NO MORE on this earth. 

I am sorry that you cannot rest in peace.

More than anything, I am sorry that you didn't have a chance to say goodbye to those you loved.

Your family will always honor you, remember you, miss you, keep you in our heart, preserve your memory in lovingly telling future generations about you, and love you forever. 

We all miss you so very much.

I mourn what was, what could of been, and what will never be.

You deserved so much better my son, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Your brother, sister, mother, family, and others who love you, will do the same. We will never forget YOU, never stop loving you, our precious beloved Steven. NEVER.

Steven, I can only say, I am SORRY, SORRY, I am so SORRY.

My heart is broken, my Steven is gone, and we will mourn forever.

 Hebrew -Amen. Love, Dad.