Sunday, June 6, 2021

63 YEARS AGO. WAS IT WORTH IT?


Samuel Wolkoff- June 6th, 1958, forever etched in my soul. 

My father was gruesomely murdered on this day many years ago, at the age of 42. I was 10 years old. 

He lost his life that day, I lost my childhood, my inner peace, and my soul. Samuel Wolkoff was MY FATHER
Tragically, I hardly remember anything about him, and almost nothing about our relationship as father and son. Today's Blog is in memory of Samuel Wolkoff, My Dad, tortured and murdered (CLICK HERE TO READ-SCROLL TO P.130 AND P.262-264). (ALSO CLICK HERE FOR MORE).
The rest of the year, the ever present demons make sure I remember those whose memories others have tried to erase, these are my family, they were human beings who will never be forgotten by me, they lived and never deserved to die in such horribly suffering ways. 

To me it's very personal when June 6th arrives every year, a very painful day. It has now been 63 agonizing years since my father Samuel Wolkoff was brutally tortured and murdered.
There are also extremely evil people who visit here. I suppose they come for many different reasons and I can see they are from all over the world.
I get emails frequently, mostly anonymous from others about the monster subhuman animal who murdered my father. They vary from other victims families murdered by the monster, friends of his, and entities that shall remain not named by me. Certain facts in this blog post and also in the book "Blood Relation" have been deliberately edited to protect myself and others.
Some of you are the cowardly, but powerfully dangerous scum bags who murdered my father, some are close murderous associates of my father, as well as those of you in the arrogant, incompetent, corrupt law enforcement systems, whose agencies knowingly covered their asses and continue to do so to this day.
In doing so, those of you in law enforcement have betrayed your sworn oaths to defend justice by deliberately participating in covering up the truth, lying, withholding documented criminal evidence, and obstructing justice in this capital offense of murder, which has no statute of limitations. You have placed your own personal needs above that of the value of human lives.

My father believed in kindness, honesty, family, hard work, ethics, and his rights as a human being to reap the fruits of his labor for himself and our family.

He was a man who did not run away from the corrupt animals who wanted a "cut of his business" for themselves. 

He believed in himself and the law enforcement, legal, supposedly ethical "systems" to protect him from those that wanted the business that he had built from nothing, with his blood and sweat.


He believed in a code of personal ethics, morality, integrity that dictated honor, family, respect, fairness, loyalty, faith in humanity, and that no one is entitled to steal from another human being their right to live.


On June 6th, 1958 the world was already very evil, corrupt, his life was cheap, and scum bags took what they wanted, from who ever they wanted. That was the day they took my father's life, his business, and all of our souls.

Today, June 6th, 2021, the world is infinitely more evil, more corrupt, life is even cheaper, scum bags enjoy their lives as they take even more of what they want, from whomever they choose.


Many of the murderers of my father, their children, and family members are still alive. We know who you ALL ARE. You have done extremely well financially and live with a high standard of living for themselves with their families having all thrived in spite of their evil deeds. 


Yes, my father was a hero, he is a hero who sacrificed his life for his beliefs. Seems old fashioned, naive, for someone to believe so strongly in doing the right thing. 

Yet somehow, he who had nothing, created a thriving business, and maintained his righteousness of believing in goodness, his business associates, his relatives, the legal/law enforcement system, and that his being a hard working, good person was to be rewarded by having a good life.


In the end, his naive belief in the humanity of others, particularly his relatives (we know who you are) proved that he was DEAD wrong and he paid for it with his life. 

We all know each other, or about each other, you know I have hidden away safely the written confidential secret official documents with my honest law enforcement and political friends, the written proof of all "missing" documented, detailed real facts that would expose the ugly truths. 

Nothing to be concerned about, it will remain buried. 

We know the deal that protects all of us, the reasons that nothing else has been done by any of us about my father's murder, the reason these documents will remain hidden, is the unspoken but very clear mutual understanding we all have forever, of don't ever again fuck with any of my family, and in return, we won't fuck with any of you by making the real truth public.

Was it worth the unimaginable pain that he felt as he was tortured slowly for 5 hours on the night of June 6, 1958? 


What must he have been thinking during those horrific hours of going in and out of consciousness as they repeatedly tightened and loosened a rope around his neck?

Samuel Wolkoff's cause of death, 5 long hours of tortured Murder By Strangulation. 

Try to hold your breath for as long as you can, then wait 40 more seconds, exhale, that will give you a tiny sense of the horrific way my father felt for 5  consecutive hours, a rope tied as a noose, was continuously alternately tightened, then loosened around his neck, while his hands were tied behind his back. 

Death, when it finally came, must have been a merciful release for my father.
The autopsy showed that my father struggled so bravely to live, that his eyeballs eventually burst, and he finally stopped breathing. His body then deposited at a desolate gas station, in the middle of the night, thrown out onto the ground, as a piece of garbage. Hold that entire scene in your mind forever, it is I can assure, gruesome and haunting in its profoundly graphic endless replay, over and over in my mind.
Oh, as an aside, his sister learned about his murder on the radio news, she immediately dropped dead of a heart attack in front of her four children.
The family never talked about it for 40 plus years, not even to speak my father's name, it is the taboo secret code followed by many families of victims, as if somehow, the unbearable pain would get less. I have spent most of my life investigating his case and eventually shared it with our family. Never have figured out if I did good or bad by reopening the wounds, but I do know, those are permanent gaping, seeping, toxic, painful holes, they never really were ever closed.

Was it worth it to believe that your goodness would triumph above evil, that god would watch over you, that law enforcement would protect you, that your wife, and children would not suffer beyond imagination for the rest of our lives?

Justice not served, justice not given, nothing complicated, nothing new, an innocent, honest, good person, a human life stolen without any remorse, it happens all the time. 

How can a loved one who dies suffering, rest in peace, ever? The answer is they cannot rest in peace because of the way they died.
Seems like a simple thing to believe and its even reduced to a short acronym, R.I.P., easy to write. I can't write it, not possible, not after all the never ending suffering of my father, and our family.

Was it worth it, my hero, my dear beloved father? 

Was it worth it?

The march of the dead continues, May/June are the saddest months for me, I dread this time of the year, horrifically gruesome memories of human, innocent lives of my family wasted. 

I am often intrigued as to why over 143,000 people as of this date have visited my Blog. 


There are many good people who come here, victims, families of victims, people seeking justice, those who are fighting against injustice, human beings who care. 

I see search terms on my Blog from people who arrive looking for information about my father, a lot of other interesting search words that only "you" would know. 

There are visitors here to this Blog who are criminals, the very worst evildoers of all kinds, organized crime family leaders, law enforcement, the curious, all are responsible by their actions or inaction's for the injustices that are specifically detailed in many of my different blog posts about all the victims I write about.

For an ultra private person like me, a Blog is obscenely public, personal, grossly revealing, definitely not my style, but  interestingly, momentarily cleansing, a way of coming out, being up front with unbearable realities, my reality. Mostly I do it for those that can no longer speak for themselves, who experienced unimaginable suffering that ended their lives. In this moment, my father's reality.

I do know that MY FATHER was a courageous HERO. 

Dead heroes, no matter how courageous they are, never get remembered by society for their acts of courage. They are quickly forgotten, except by those who loved them.

Was it worth it for MY FATHER, Samuel Wolkoff, to stand his ground and give up his life in such a terrifying, grotesque manner at the hands of cowardly pussy punks? 

The world did not care about his life and did nothing.

My father's fatal errors that cost him his life? He  believed in trust, in the sense of obligation to very close members of his family, by giving them a chance to change their ways.

The good deeds he did, paid back by these very same, who had him murdered. Horrifically ugly, but brutally true, and they all got away with it, no guilt, no conscience, didn't bother any of them, never mattered to them.

Today we remember my courageous father. He is not resting in peace, and he never will rest in peace, that is certain. 

Friday, May 28, 2021

MY SISTER IRIS

       





It always begins on this date every year.

My beloved sister Iris died on May 28th, 2004, and this marks the beginning of the period each year that fills me with incalculable suffering, inexplicable unfairness, tragedy that has wrought its massive destruction of so many good, loved members of my family, who deserved so very much better than they received in life and death.  

Once again, another year has passed and I dread the intensified agony of overwhelming grief that envelops me for these lost souls of my family during the upcoming months.

I need not be told that it is here, since the pain is always present, all the time, year round, but becomes insidiously unbearable as of this date, and in the next few months, every year.

I painfully miss and mourn those of my immediate family who have died, more so than at any other time, as each year passes.

Increasingly difficult, filled with the aching of a lifetime beaten down into the ever present, toxic, non stop personal demons, nightmares, flash backs, with memories vividly stamped inside my brain, as if it were just yesterday that we were all together as a family and of course, big sister and little brother.

I planted purple Iris flowers, one of them pictured above in the garden out front of my house when my sister died.


Each year I take new pictures as they spring to life and insert one on this blog in memory of her. 


I like the idea that they are perennials, returning every year, flowering in all their beauty, now looking so alive on another anniversary today of the day she died, after a courageous, painful battle to live. 

We do that a lot in my family, fighting to live life to the fullest, and when our time comes, refusing to let go until our last precious breath. They call our family fighters, survivors, and that is what we do in both living our life with happiness as a gift never to be taken for granted, and also the darkness which is part of remembering.

Iris was a unique and compassionate person who quietly touched everyone she met with her kindness and strength. 


Iris is missed by all of us who loved her. We will never forget her beautiful smile.

My sister was full of life, insightful, quiet, brave,

loyal, sagely wise, and then she was gone forever, horribly, excruciatingly painfully, and irrevocably. 

She deserved so much better in her short time on this earth but it was not to be.

Iris, my sister, a gift to me in life, was more beautiful in a million ways than these magnificent flowers. 


I will miss you forever my dear sister Iris, most of all, 


I will always miss your caring love. 

I love you. 

Love, Your little brother- Jerry.

Monday, December 14, 2020

SANDY HOOK MASS SHOOTING-8th ANNIVERSARY



TODAY Monday, December 14, 2020 marks the 8th anniversary of the mass shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. Flags in the state are flying at half-staff.

On December 14, 2012, a shooter opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary school, killing 20 first-graders and six educators in one of the deadliest mass shootings in United States history.

When little children are murdered because of the lack of gun control in the U.S. and nothing was done, it showed how little our country and its citizens care about the value of a human life. In this case, innocent young children are dead forever and nothing has changed about gun control. The u.s is a sick country and values it's guns way more than 6 year old youngsters who are gunned down in their school.

"The memories of the 20 young children and six educators whose lives were tragically taken on that horrible morning eight years ago will forever remain in our hearts," 

Our hearts are heavy today as we mark eight years since 20 beautiful children - Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Benjamin, Avielle, and Allison - and six courageous adults - Dawn, Mary, Vicki, Lauren, Rachel, and Anne Marie - were taken from us all too soon.

To the grandparents, parents, siblings, children, spouses, and broken hearts of the Sandy Hook victims there will never be justice, never be peace. No matter how long it's been, every time you think about it, you relive it as though you just heard the news. Eight years later, I know the pain never goes away for the lives of your loved ones that were murdered and their dreams, aspirations, and futures that will never be. They are gone forever and you will never see them again, never touch them again. Their young lives snuffed out before they had a chance to live and flourish.
HERE ARE THE FACES OF THESE CHILDREN and EDUCATORS in good times IN THE VIDEO AT THE LINK BELOW. EVERYONE should view it and see the beautiful faces of these children when they were alive. Remember them as precious little children, human beings, and not a statistic.

Friday, December 4, 2020

COVID DEATHS ARE BEING NORMALIZED

ACROSS AMERICA,the horrific daily statistics about Covid are so mind numbing that many people have become numb to the true meaning of how many lives are lost to Covid each day. People tend to block out it's meaning and the lives lost become "normalized" as it is too overwhelming to truly understand.

Putting this painful truth in perspective:
During the time you were putting in an eight-hour shift at work earlier this week, more than 930 Americans were killed by the coronavirus.
The final virus death toll reported in the United States on Wednesday was 2,798. That equates to just under two deaths per minute, about one every 30 seconds. Nine hundred thirty-two over the course of eight hours.
In the time it took you to take that 10-minute shower, another almost 20 people were dead of the virus. Then almost another four during the two minutes you spent brushing your teeth before bed.
That day it took the virus 23 minutes to kill almost as many people as the wildfires throughout the western United States have all year, and about 30 minutes to kill about as many people as the gunman in the 2017 mass shooting in Las Vegas, the deadliest mass shooting in United States history."

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY




ANOTHER BIRTHDAY


My older son Steven Nathaniel Wolkoff would have been 43 years old today.

What can a parent say on the birthday of their dead child?

A living child asks for a birthday party. 

As they become older, you, as the parent, ask them what they want for their birthday. There’s dialogue. 

It’s tradition to remember your child's birthday, to not do so ignores that they lived.
But what exactly is a parent supposed to do on the birthday of their child when he is gone?

Not gone, as in out of town or at the beach, or out of the country. Gone as in, no longer alive.
A dead child doesn’t want. 

A dead son asks for nothing.
What does a mom or dad and siblings do?

Where’s the rule book for recognizing birthdays of a dead child?

Steven was born on the first day of Fall and died on the first day of Summer. 
There is something odd to me about the the significance of the equinox and solstice in his life and its parallel meaning to the Earth. 

If the autumnal equinox represents balance, then the summer solstice was most certainly the day we felt our world come to a deafening halt on the longest day of the year.

Steven lies dead in a grave because of the negligence and indifference of those who killed him, stole his life at the age of 30, and have tried to erase that he ever lived.

I mourn what was, what could of been, and what will never be.

You deserved so much better my son, it just wasn't meant to be. 


Love, Dad 

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

REIMBURSEMENT FOR APPLE IPHONE USER VICTIMS

Apple customers who purchased certain previous iPhone models can now submit claims for about $25 per phone as part of the company's settlement of a class action lawsuit that accused it of slowing down older devices.
The settlement, announced in March, applies to customers who purchased the iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 6s, 6s Plus, 7, 7 Plus and or the SE before December 21, 2017 and experienced performance issues, according to a website set up for users to submit claimsApple (AAPL) will pay "per eligible device," the settlement says, meaning owners of multiple impacted iPhones can submit multiple claims.
Affected users must submit a claim online or via mail by October 6 to be eligible for a payout. A court filing in March said the amount each user receives could increase or decrease depending on how many claims are filed as well as any additional legal fees and expenses approved by the court.
Apple agreed to pay out up to $500 million as part of the settlement agreement earlier this year, capping a years-long legal battle in which it tried to ease a global backlash against its practices.
    The company admitted in December 2017 that it used software updates to slow down older iPhones. Angry customers and tech analysts had previously flagged that the updates were causing diminished performance. Some suggested that Apple did so to force users to upgrade to the latest iPhone model, but the company said it was aimed at addressing issues with older lithium-ion batteries that would make the phones suddenly shut down to protect their components.
    Apple later apologized and offered battery replacements to its customers for $79, which it then knocked down to $29. CEO Tim Cook admitted a year later that the company's revenue was partly hit by "significantly reduced pricing for iPhone battery replacements."
      The settlement is still subject to a final approval, with a hearing scheduled for December 4 in US District Court in San Jose, California.

      Tuesday, June 30, 2020

      MOM

                                        



      I thought of you with love today
      but that is nothing new

      I thought about you yesterday
      and days before that too,
      I think of you in silence
      I often speak your name

      All I have are memories
      and your picture in a frame.
      Your memory is my keepsake
      with which I’ll never part
      I have you in my heart.

      Hug me strongly, and carry me home
      Dear Mom, one more kiss again

      I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part. God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

      See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=24438I thought of you with love today
      Today is the day that my Mother, Dorothy Wolkoff died on June 30th,1997. It was sudden and there was never a chance to say goodbye.
       
      My mom was the strongest, toughest, most courageous, gentle, caring person I have ever known. 

      Biology aside, mom's can be magical human beings. A mother's love is unlimited, it can heal us, make us feel safe, and inspire us. My mother was all that and more. How lucky I am.

      She taught me much, but in particular, emphasized the importance of self pride, work/life ethics, compassion, caring, and being humble. 

      In spite of her hard life, she provided for my sister and myself, by doing whatever was necessary for us to live, we never lacked for anything because of her grueling unselfish efforts. 

      My mother was the only one who believed in me, particularly during my youth, and stubbornly never gave up, no matter how much I screwed up. 

      Without her support during my most difficult years as a youngster, a wild acting out teenager, she ALWAYS stood up to me, for me, guided me, and refused to give in, or give up on me. It was not easy for her to do that, but she would not back down, ever.

      My mother literally saved my life many times, she was one of a kind, I will always remember and love her for that. 
      I told my mom in many different ways over the years how much she eventually contributed to my taking the correct productive path with my life all because of her. 

      I spent much of my adult life making my mother proud of me, telling her how much I loved her. 

      Whatever is good in me, came from my mother. 

      I love and miss you mom.